


Lights In the Rafters

by eroticotaku



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst and Romance, Blood Drinking, Brother/Sister Incest, Child Abuse, Crazy Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Growing Up, Loss of Innocence, Sex, Tragedy, Trapped, Underage Sex, Vaginal Sex, Vampire Bites, Virginity, flowers in the attic inspiration
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-06-09 14:15:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15269247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eroticotaku/pseuds/eroticotaku
Summary: Three children are locked in the basement their only lights are Christmas lights hanging from the rafters. After losing connection to the outside world the two oldest siblings seek comfort from each other under the artificial lights that mock the sun they hope to see once more.





	1. Once A Perfect Family

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by Flowers in the Attic but will have different aspects than the book/movie. So you can expect heavy brother x sister incest from this story. Don't read if you feel uncomfortable with such things!

My family was always happy for as long as I could remember... The perfect family. We had everything you would call a normal lifestyle. A middle-class family living what everyone dreams about. We had that warm and welcoming house with that cliche white picket fence, lights in every room consuming every speck of darkness, food that made our skin glow with color, protection, fresh and clean air, and finally each other. We were a beautiful family of five, something you only hear about in fairy tales.

Our Mama was the most beautiful women in the entire town perhaps the world, a real snow white just like in the Disney movies I loved watching. She had long curly raven hair that flowed down her back that shimmered under the shine of lights. I remember she always smelled of lavender and the lavender smell always seemed to linger even after she left a room. It was a soothing and calming scent.

Her eyes were bluer than any sky and they were always so soft and gentle. Eyes that were full of understanding and love... Then her skin was just like ours, pale and clear resembling that of my porcelain dolls. She was of French descent unable to hide her accent and it always came out thicker when she scolded us when we found trouble or trouble found us.

Then there was our Papa whose hair was blonde nearly white, cropped just above his ears and gelled back neatly. His eyes were a sleepy gray and he always had dark circles under his eyes from how much he had to work. I often called him Papa raccoon, the dark circles under his eyes reminding me of a raccoon's face. It was all fun but I knew he worked so hard in order to support his family, a family whom he loved dearly, especially Mama. He spoiled her with gifts every month from overseas and sometimes even us.

After that, there was the three of us their children born from there love. The oldest child, my brother was Levi and just like our parents he was perfect. The perfect grades, the perfect mannerisms, and the perfect social skills. His eyes and his hair were a mix between our two parents. 

His hair was jet black like mother's but lacked her curls while his eyes didn't have that sleepy grey color of fathers or Mama's sky blue eyes. His eye color often shifts colors resembling mother's eyes when he happier and then they resembled Papa's eyes when he was unhappy.

Levi was never a child, always an adult from what I can recall. He was four years older than me so he should still act like a child... He was a small adult sticking to mother's side. He might have the perfect social skills but he never had any true friends. True friends the people you share your feelings and thoughts with.

Then there was myself, the middle child Avril. I had father's beautiful blonde hair but mine was wavy unlike father's. I preferred keeping my hair up in a ponytail and out of the way. Besides my hair and eyes I didn't look like Papa but more like Mama, our faces were almost identical. I used to love it when Papa told me how pretty and beautiful I looked just like Mama, how we could practically be twins. 

The only difference between our faces was that I had fat to my cheeks that Levi made sure to point out to me. Mama didn't have a single ounce of fat on her. I had sleepy grey eyes not a single spec of blue in them like Levi's. William was the luckiest having the same eyes as Mamas. I was so envious of both of them.

Speaking of William he was the last member of our family of five being the youngest. He was very young only six years old compared to Levi and I, Levi being 16 and I being 12. He resembled our mother the most out of all of us. He had her curly black hair, her pretty sky blue eyes, and her face. He even picked up a slight accent when speaking he picked up from her which was was the baby and he loved everyone, Mama, Papa, Levi who he called Lev Lev, and finally me. He clung to everyone, never being one to like being by himself. He was well behaved for a child who was 6 and never caused an ounce of trouble like I did.

And one day our happy family of five collapsed all from a simple thing such as a fire. A fire that changed everything, an orange blaze of hellfire. It changed and affected each one of us. If I was watching William that day like I was supposed to none of what would occur would have happened. Our home like our sweet childhood would never have been burned to anything but ashes in the wind.

I will never forget the scene or the smells of the day our house burned down. The smoke choked my lungs but still I stood and watched it crawl higher and higher bringing the whole house down to rubble and ash. 

I saw Levi crying that day for the first time as he grabbed the front of my sundress spatting and spitting out hatefully, ''How could you of not been watching him you fool! Now we have nothing! He could have got hurt! I could have got hurt!' and he shoved me to the ground wiping at his face, soot covering his cheeks and hands.

I remember being in tears but those weren't the only tears I would shed. Shortly after those events transpired, our family of five was down to a family of four. Papa with all the stress couldn't handle the bills of our much smaller home after losing his job and he slid his pocket knife along his wrists in his office chair at home... Levi was the one who stumbled upon our father's corpse and after that, he was never the same...

It wasn't a slow change, when he stumbled to the kitchen to where Mama was cooking and humming he whispered, 'father's dead.' 

It was pure horror as he stared at Mama who did what every wife would do in her situation screamed and passed out in shock after running to her husband's side. Levi after that became hateful and resentful towards me, blaming me for not watching William that day, blaming me for our father's death. He got quiet and gloomy always hanging around mother.

We drifted apart and we became further and further apart as the days progressed but it wasn't until the basement we would become closer again...

...

Edited: March 2nd, 2019


	2. Tainted Blood

The leaves crunched under Mama's heels, her white dress and black curls swaying in the evening breeze. The black lace ribbon on her new hat trailed down to her mid back was twirling in the wind threatening to disappear into the darkness surrounding us. I remember how happy she looked that night taking us to grandmothers house, a radiant smile on her seemingly perfect face, dimples caused by laugh lines only because Mama never frowned. Never, always so happy.

The street lights clicked on one by one just like magic shading patches of bright circular suns around the lamp posts. Mama was more dazzling than any light and certainly more dazzling than any sun. Everything was just a blurred background when she was in the picture. I watched her stride ahead of me, her posture and walk more elegant than any actual princess or queen.

Then Levi was to her right, his posture and gant equally perfect like Mama. His head held up proudly, his face set in a perfect emotionless and unwavering state, leading others to wonder what was happening behind those striking blue-grey eyes of his. He was always finely dressed like Mama, though we were poor without income, Mama didn't blink an eye when it came to dressing herself or Levi.

She had bought him all brand new clothes a day after the fire, I didn't understand it as I was at the hotel wallowing in grief while they bought clothing... Me and William sat on the bed and cried each other to sleep each day feeling abandoned by Mama and grief-stricken Papa would never come home after work through the front door of our once perfect house. Then we were once temporally bunched in one hotel after the fire before getting our smaller home, later on, that ended in disaster as well but not from the fire.

Levi's clothing was crisp, without a wrinkle, and fitted perfectly to his body. He was dressed so nicely even if we were going to see our grandparents but he always dressed nicely for simple occasions. It was very rare for him to wear a regular shirt and jeans and even then those were designer apparel, Mama made sure of it.

He was unusually quiet for Levi, after the fire, at the hotel, our smaller home, after father's death, and the train ride which brought us here. He only spoke to Mother or William but never once did he speak to me after the house was ablaze and black smoke rose to the starlit sky. Instead of speaking to me I was met with hateful glares and I could only guess he blamed me inside his head for what happened. Though besides the obvious hate he seemed different besides the other obvious, grief.

He didn't seem to be in a hurry, it was Mama who always seemed to be in a hurry lately. Levi seeming to be holding back wanting to stay in a timeless place, things neither moving forward or back...

My breath tickles out in a white fog as the temperature steadily drops and evening turns to night, I wasn't anything like Mama or Levi. I didn't want to move rapidly forward and I didn't want to stay in the present. I wanted to go back to the past when father was alive and everyone was happy. I looked at the houses we pass, they reminded me of our old home except these families had much more money than our once happy family of five ever had.

I wanted to cry but I had cried enough for the past two months and I gave William's hand a soft reassuring squeeze everything was going to be okay. We would go back to being a happy family but a happy family of four. William gives my hand a squeeze in response, he must be getting tired he was talking less and was acting sluggish.

I was tired too, my suitcase making a small clanking noise rolling over bumps on the sidewalk. I was forced to pack old clothing from last year that had been stored away in a storage lot, everything else I owned destroyed by the fire except for my stuff bear. Father had given it to me as a present a few days before the fire. It had somehow managed to survive the fire, it's purple fur singed black in some places. Levi had brought it to me, I'm not sure how he found it among the rubble or debris but he did. I still wondered why he did bring it to me since I was the cause of the fire...

I wanted to hold the teddy bear in my arms and sleep next to William and Papa like we used too. I remember Levi used to sleep with us but something suddenly changed in him and he started to avoid Papa, William, and I. He didn't slowly move apart from the family, it was sudden and abrupt like he was carrying some silent burden like he was now. Even now he walked ahead of me, his back stiff and his shoulders rigid, like a silent soldier always right next to Mama. She was the only person he talked to a lot...

I wanted to be back on the train where it was warm and comfortable just like being next to the fire during a cold winter night where the wind howled like wolves outside and threatened to come in, the window shuddering and creaking in protest.

William had so much fun on the train, placing his hands on the glass panels and staring out in awe. He had never been on a train before.

He enjoyed the scenery and even stole from the food cart when no one was looking. Remembering it made me smile if just a little, it was like a ray of hope in darkness hinting everything would return to normal. Only difference Papa would never be there, never his hugs, big smiles, or his gentle voice.

Levi didn't share the same enthusiasm as William for the love of trains, he was as far as the window as possible his fingers curled into the knees of his pants. He wasn't that tense at the beginning of the ride but the longer we sat on the train and morning became afternoon and became evening, he slowly moved closer to Mama. I wished I had some clue to what he was thinking, he put this cold and aloof front all the time and all I can think when I look at him he wasn't always like that.

When we were small children he would laugh and play with me, he always wore a happy smile. You would have never guessed he used to play dollies or pretend tea parties the way he was now but it all ended like that when he was 12 just like how our happy family of five ended.

I wished we never stepped off the train and keep going on forever in that moment, it was the only brief period of time I felt an ounce of happiness. I think William felt the same as me in his own child like ways. Stuffing his mouth with favorite sweets father used to buy him, Mama or Levi never once noticed him scarfing the food down. Mama to busy on her cell phone and Levi staring off into the distance distracted by his own thoughts.

If either one knew he stole he would have been scolded, however, Mama always seemed to busy with things of late to care what William or I did. Levi may act like the perfect adult but when he was younger he used to be the biggest thief in our hometown, stealing when he never had to, just to gift Mama with things. She was like a goddess to him and he was her loyal servant.

I feel William start to stray behind, his hand sliding from my grip only to grab ahold of my long skirt. I stop in my tracks to look down at him to see him rubbing his eyes. He whines having a lisp from losing his front teeth just recently, "Avril, I'm tired and cold. I want to go to bedddd."

I hear Mama's steady click of her heels slow and stop and I undo the buttons on my boyfriend's school varsity, tugging it off. I kneel down and put it on him. The jacket was big on me but William looked like a dwarf in it, the jacket looking more like a dress than a jacket. My boyfriend gave it to me as a parting gift as I button it up on William starting from the top. Mama said not to tell anyone we were leaving but I told Jackson, we would only be apart for a little bit, Mama said only a few days.

We only started dating a couple of weeks before the fire, his phone calls to the hotel and our small home brightened my day. The day of the fire we were supposed to go to the movies to watch Flowers in the Attic, a forbidden love story about human siblings. The book was beautifully written, and when the book was adapted to film I had to go watch it. I planned on getting my first kiss that day in the most cliche way, right outside my front door after we got back from our movie date. I was never able to watch it and never got that first kiss...

I respond to William finishing buttoning the jacket telling him, "I think we are almost there, just a few more blocks at most..." My voice sounded just as tired and worn out as his, I wasn't used to walking this much. I look to Mama for reassurance asking her, "right Mama" and she stares at me with narrowed eyes.

She takes a minute to respond, "Another hour Avril, Everyone is tired, not just William... But have Levi carry him if he's tired..."

I hear Levi 'tsk' to himself from where he stood up in front under a yellow halo of light from the lamp post. He was probably annoyed he was being forced to carry him so soon seeing as William wouldn't be able to walk much longer. It was too much for him, he was just a baby and it felt like we had been walking for hours after getting off the train.

I didn't understand why we didn't take a cab or took the night train so we could take a bus to grandma's house unless grandmother was expecting us at a certain time. I stand to my feet hearing mother's heels resuming that 'click, clack' they made against the cement sidewalk. Mama was so different now...

Levi watches William and I with a hard glare, waiting to be told by me to carry William.

I ignore him and caress William's cheek, "Just for a bit more can you walk, then if you feel really tired Levi will carry you or I can..." I hear the click of Levi's leather shoes on the sidewalk and I glance his way to see him walking with Mama.

William nods his head mumbling, "Yes Avril." He holds out his hand for me to take and I wrap my hand protectively over his like Mama should be doing. I resume walking following Mama and Levi. I glare at Levi's back, he didn't have to act like William was a burden.

Not ten minutes pass and Williams small voice breaks the silence, "Avril, can you carry me?"

I look down sitting my suitcase up to hoist him onto my hip. He holds both hands up in the air and I scoop him up, he wasn't light and he was heavy. He was heavier than a cat or a small dog. My body was already aching and he wraps his small arms around my neck, the only good from this was that he was warm. I was cold without my jacket.

I didn't know the exact temperature but it was really cold. Goosebumps were spread across my arms and I could feel my teeth starting to chatter. I hoped grandmother had hot cocoa, it sounded so good right about now. The tiny little marshmallows, the thought warmed my cold body in mind only. William little breaths fan across my neck as he snuggled against me getting comfortable.

I grab the handle of the suitcase and continue following Levi and Mama who already were a half a block ahead of me. I had little troubles but the more I walked, the more tired I became. My arms, legs, and feet throbbed. I could feel the back of my flats cutting into my heel, I envisioned the bloody, raw, blistered mess I would see when I slid them off. I kept walking trying to be a good child like Levi not wanting to burden Mama anymore.

I stare down at the sidewalk, it was becoming harder to breathe. I counted each block in the sidewalk trying to get my mind off of what I was doing but the cold air stung my lungs making them burn with each inhale made it hard. The back of my heel pulsed with anger and I felt crippled. Mama and Levi were so far ahead of me, I could barely hear the click of their shoes.

The walk started to incline slowly and the sidewalk melts into yellowing grass. I looked up warily and there stood upon one of the largest hills was a house so large. It was made of entirely stone a fountain stood in the front of the house, and a beautiful naked woman carved out of white granite poured water from pots into the rippling water below her feet. She looked a lot like Mama from the distance, so beautiful...

Only a few lights were on though the glow was masked by dark curtains in the window. The whole place seemed cold and eerie the tree circling the mansion not helping. They were blacker than night looking like they came from a storybook, the woods Hansel and Gretel got lost in when their parents abandoned them. The mansion was worthy for a witch only this house wasn't made of sweets.

A balcony overlooked the fountain spewing water and the well-manicured garden. Not a single leaf littered the ground, the groundskeepers must do a wonderful job. A wall separated the mansion and its grounds and the walls just like the towers of the mansion were guarded by gargoyles, their faces were so ugly.

I reach the iron gate pausing behind Mama and I could only think what type of person would want to live in such an unfriendly and depressing house. Mama pushed open the iron gates and they open with a soft creak. She slips in through the small opening in the front gate and beckons us in with the motion of her hand.

Levi was the next to slip in followed by me holding William. I smile tiredly, I just had to make it to the front door. Mama smile widens and she shuts the gate behind me. I look strangely at the gates, I didn't feel safe being in them, I felt more trapped than safe. The gargoyles lining the walls scaring me, they were much bigger than they were in the distance and I adjust William on my hip.

Mother beckons us to move quicker and reminding us to be quiet pressing her pointer finger to her lips, "shhh." She walks fast her gaunt upbeat and completely different then it was weeks ago. She didn't look like a widow to me. I climb the stairs to the front door, there weren't many steps but it was exhausting nonetheless. I stop on the top step, the grey columns ascending the stairs holding the giant balcony above.

I pant softly, completely out of breath but grateful our walk was over, I couldn't wait to peel my clothes off and to lay in a real bed in pajamas. I didn't feel like brushing my hair out and I knew I would just toss my hair tie to the nightstand along with bandaging the wounds on my feet.

Mama hurries over fixing us up, tucking a loose strand of my hair behind my ear and straighten my back. She pecks Levi's lips and murmurs softly, "Remember let me do all the talking and listen to your grandmother."

I nod my head wearily not bothering to ask why like I did before. She couldn't give me a real answer just saying the 'you know how old people are' and always ending it there before talking about how we were going to be all set.

She walks to the door and knocks on the door and I waited curiously. I wanted to see what grandmother was like. The door opens after several minutes only by a creak. A woman aged well looks out at us, her lips pulled down in a frown. She pulls open the door all the way to reveal a dark entryway

Mama stands behind us putting one hand on Levi's shoulder and one on mine speaking in that lovely sing-song voice of hers, "Hello Mother." 'So this was Grandmother, she looked a lot like mother I thought in awe.

Grandmother studies each of us ignoring Mama. She starts with Levi, then moves on me, and finally William. Her eyes were dead like fish which gave me the ultimate creeps. I feel Mama's fingers curl into my shoulder, I wince from the pain. I glance at Levi to see she was doing the same to him. If she was he ignored it, he was staring ahead at grandmother hiding all his emotions behind that perfect poker face he always wore.

"Well, Mother, aren't you going to say hello," Mama asks. 

Grandmother finally looks past me to look at Mama, "Kuchel, you came home how expected..." her voice was raspy and sounded like death himself. If skeletons could talk they sound like her.

I look back to Mama trying to gauge her reaction, grandmother didn't seem to want us here not by her tone. She didn't seem happy to finally meet us, her grandchildren. My lips pull into a frown, I wished I was as good as Levi hiding my emotions and William was asleep in my arms and I was thankful for it. He was happy about meeting grandmother.

"That isn't a much of a hello mother," mother responds and her fingers dig deeper into my shoulder and I wanted to cry out in pain but I kept my mouth shut. I bite the inside of my cheek to distract me.

Grandmother scuffs, "you expect me to say hello after all these years Kuchel showing up with tainted blood."

My eyes water from the pain in my shoulder as I question what tainted blood meant. I never heard it before but it didn't sound too good... 

...

Edited on: March 2nd, 2019.


	3. Christmas In October

I stared at the flame bobbing up and down, the tiny little orange and yellow ember casting a small glow on the old table marred by deep scratches. I sat in one of three chairs surrounding the table my hands folded in my lap, Levi moving quickly throughout the room lighting each candle his face paler than any ghost his hand visibly shaking. Each candle light chased the darkness away showing more.....

Cobwebs with spiders still nestled in them hung above our heads in the rafters and along broken furniture and old and also equally broken lamps. Dust inches thick covered everything and in the far right corner water dripped from rusty and blackened pipes making the broken and cracked cement below damp. In the dust covering the floor were the impressions of Levi's and I's shoes indicating this place has not a single visitor in perhaps years from the amount of dust covering the floor just like everything else.

Boxes were piled high on the outskirts of the room storing unwanted things similar to the workbenches littered with tools no longer needed to fix things by their master. I glance at the table that had small harden pellets from rats or mice perhaps both. A mummified mouse still laid in the spot it died on the floor by my feet, the mouse trap continuing to press down on its broken neck. The cheese it was so desperate for was still untouched centimeters from its face but the cheese was long rotted.

I spot Levi by the last candle by the only window in the entirety of this place. That small rectangle was inches above Levi's head shining in moonlight to this hell, it was our only window to the outside world. It would only be a few days Mama said, only a few days. I would live and then my life would continue just like the world would continue rotating never hesitating for anybody's death including Papa's.

Poor Levi looked sick, he had a single white handkerchief over his mouth his chest heaving up and down. His eyebrows were knitted together as he hovered over the candle hunched holding his stomach appearing to be in agonizing pain. The moonlight blanketed over his shoulders offered him no relief or comfort. Dirt or filth never bothered him before, this dislike new just like secluding himself from his family.

He rests his eyes and calms down, the trembling in his body lessening. His breathing slows and evens out and he slowly lights the last candle with the white lighter Mama gave him before she left. The white lighter was a shade brighter than Levi's own claws which I can only compare to fine porcelain dishes.

He pockets the lighter in his back pocket and looks at me, "We been thrown away..." his voice barely above a whisper.

I make a face not sure if I heard him correctly, "repeat that please, I didn't hear you," I ask. I couldn't believe he was talking to me I thought the only voice I hear the next few days would be the snide voice of grandmother and then, of course, William's voice. I expected only to be met with glares by him.

"You heard me, we were thrown away just look around you" he states gesturing with hands pointing at the boxes to his right and then to the dead mouse by my feet. I look to where he points and then back to him my face wrapped in confusion as to why he thought we were abandoned.

"Mama said only a few days Levi, just bear with it and then we can live how we used to... Just without Papa okay?" I say growing sad remembering I would never see Papa unless I was visiting his grave.

That day was so sad and I would like to think the world cried that day when we burned Papa's remains. The rain falling all around us trying as hard as it could to smolder the giant fire.

Levi was the only one who didn't cry, he stood to Mama's left while William and I stood to her right. He held the black umbrella over Mama's head as she wept and recited a Eulogy. His eyes were dark and cold staring at the fire curling and flaring up at the sky in anger. I would never forget that day as I held my own umbrella but over William who cried into my blouse, his pink tears just as endless as mine...

Levi's eyes widen in shock and disbelief and his fingers curl into a fist. He lowers his hand to his side and his lips move against the handkerchief his words full of anger yet he never raises his voice, "Tsk, nevermind continues living in that dear fantasy world of yours, Avril. We will be living off rats soon enough, that's if there are any rats to live off..."

He kicks something towards me and it rolls into the light cast by a candle that sat on a coffee table. The rat was all bones just like the mouse in the trap.

My fingers dig into the fabric of my skirt bunching it feeling a rage build in me and I speak out in anger which is unlike me, "Levi the things you say are unnecessary, I want to be home just like you and William, act like an adult than just looking and dressing like one."

"Home?... If you could consider it that.." he responds his words vague and hard to understand.

"Home what do you mean Levi? Did you ever consider being together with your family in the house you grew up in a home?" I ask my voice portraying exactly how I was feeling which was anger.

"..." I wait for him to respond but nothing, he stares at me without any hint of emotion just like usual. I couldn't even begin to understand what went through his head, he didn't even cry at Papa's funeral or when he died. He was like a doll except when you pulled the string on him to talk he only made snide remarks just like grandmother. I wanted the old Levi back, the one who spoke constantly and played with me.

"I wish it was you instead of Papa who died....!" I yell my voice shrill. It takes me a few seconds to process what I had just said but it was too late his eyes wide like saucers before he looks away and he narrows his eyes. His hand holding the handkerchief to his mouth lowers and the muscles tense in his back.

I gasp before quickly apologizing saying what I was thinking, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to say that. Forgive me....." I couldn't believe I said something like that, I really didn't mean it.

He looks up at the window, "No need to apologize and I am not angry at you. I have misspoken...." he says softly and he stands there for the longest time looking out the window never saying a word to me and I am helpless. I'm stuck only to watch him regretting what I have said.

Him staring at the window and me sitting at the table watching him, minutes and hours seem to toll by the moon drifting across the sky. Time is truly meaningless to us and I draw my knees to my chest on the chair, my eyes closing the image of Levi standing endlessly in the moonlight his body motionless was the last image in my head.....

....

....

My body aches, I feel cold, and a dull throb is present behind my eyes. My throat feels oddly tight and dry too. I open my eyes murmuring, "Mama." I call again my voice crackled when I get no response, "Mama." Again I get no response and I open my heavy eyelids. I stare ahead and everything is so dark except a tiny ray of light warming Levi making his cheeks rosy.

His dark thick eyelashes rest against his skin in a peaceful sleep. His arms are crossed over his chest and his ankles are hooked with one another while his body leans against the back of the wooden chair. His handkerchief that was pure white was slightly grey. Pieces of his dark raven colored hair that he always has slicked back had fallen into his face, but he still looks plush as he always does even with his clothing slightly wrinkled and having stains dotting his clothing. I would say he appeared dead if not for the shallow rising and falling of his chest and the small white fog seeping from his mouth each time he exhaled.

His features were so delicate and dainty nothing like me or William. High cheekbones, long fingers, and narrow hips that went with his small frame. He had all the features of what would make a beautiful woman even though he was a man who very well shown his masculinity through his muscles on his body he had gained from hard work. His lips were soft and pouty looking. A beautiful doll made of glass just like Mama.....

I rub my eyes getting the sand from my eyes and notice a blanket was draped across my shoulders. My fingers run through the black fur, the blanket was very soft. My fingers get to a corner of the blanket and I see Levi's name in golden letters in fancy cursive. I trace each letter, I remember this blanket, it was a Christmas present from Papa and I. How did it survive the fire? I was surprised Levi kept something like this something so sentimental. I trace the letters again starting with the letter E and moving backward. The more I knew about Levi the less I understood.

There was no evidence of the blanket surviving a fire, no singe marks as I trace the letter 'L' repeatedly. So confusing, he also chooses to go without a blanket when he is obviously cold, his body trembling slightly. I glance at William who was asleep on the couch directly across from me, he was curled into himself not waking once when I carried him down here. It seemed he didn't wake up once since then either.

He was covered with both the three blankets grandmother had given us before shoving us down into this hell, it was supposed to be a blanket for each of us but Levi had given up his first and then I did to keep William warm. I frown, when I first woke up today, I thought I was in my own bed, not in a chair in a basement. Just a few more days....

I was hungry or should I say more thirsty than anything and I close my eyes half looking at Levi continuing to trace the letter 'L.' Food would only be brought once a day from what grandmother said and that would be at night only. It appeared to be only afternoon now, I couldn't believe I slept that long and I huddled into the blanket, winter would be harsh this year.

I hated how we were ushered in here and I hated how she talked to us especially Levi but I kept my mouth shut for Mama. It was so quick and sudden. We were lead to the basement and there was so much to take in, the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, the tapestries on the walls, the mahogany wood staircase leading to the upper floors of the mansion, old painting of people who looked like Mama and Levi mixed in with the tapestries, the rugs with elegant designs blanketing the floors, and all the antique vases and such and the stuffed animals with their glass eyes watching us as we walked through one of the many hallways.

Levi was the first to get a glimpse of where we would be staying for the next few days and I recall his body froze at the basement's doorway, his entire body just went rigid. It wasn't like him to be so awkward, Mama had to basically order him to go down the stairs and even then he just hesitated only making it to the first step.

I might have been mistaken but I could have sworn he was shaking and quivering badly, his lips drawn into a frown. It looked like he wanted to puke as he stared down into the darkness of the basement. He gave a glance at Mama and grandmother got impatient calling Levi 'it' and asking Mama if something was wrong with him.

Mama did a little eye roll and then defended Levi before which I assume she orders Levi to listen because he steadily descends into the darkness immediately after she whispered something in his ear, something that I couldn't hear. She also hands him her white lighter which he held out in front of him the entire time he went down the stairs and like the lighter he holds onto the railing for dear life, his knuckle bones straining through his skin from how tight he was gripping the lighter and railing.

Grandmother didn't offer anything but three blankets, three pillows, and a handful of candles. She gave us the candles because the lights were all broken in the basement, she could have given us flashlights.... All three blankets and pillows were given to William for the night and the candles.... I look around the room narrowing my eyes and squinting trying to adjust my eyes to the dark. They finally adjust to the darkness and I see all nine candles have burned halfway, the wax pooling at their bottoms.

The basement looks different too, it wasn't as dusty or dirty. There weren't any more mouse or rat carcasses on the floor or in traps. The vermin's poop was cleaned up as well. The spider webs hanging about my head were also gone, the webs in other parts of the basement weren't there either. I look at Levi and wonder if he cleaned everything, it would be why his clothes were stained and his handkerchief was discolored.

I see his eyes slowly flutter open and they make contact with mine. The sleepy glaze over his eyes disappear, and he sits up properly his eyes narrowing and glaring at me, "what" he asks his voice borderline snotty.

"Nothing..." I reply, "I woke up thinking I was at home in my own bed."

"Well, you're not and you never will be," he sneers his lips curling at the end flashing his white teeth. His eyes fill with rage and something else, I guess being stuck in the same room with him I would get to see more than just a blank emotionless mask.

"You don't know," I whisper pulling the blanket more securely around me. It looks like he is about to say more but I try to end the argument, "I see you cleaned..."

"Of course I cleaned, do you see anyone else down here who would?" he retorts, his lips pulled down into a frown instead of that sneer. I sigh, it was better but still hopeless to make small talk with him because there was never any winning with him. 

"No, Levi," I mutter.

He averts his eyes, standing and picking up a picnic basket off the ground by his feet before speaking this time, "Mother, came and left today. She left this here, its food. Grandmother will be down tomorrow with more food." 

My eyes widen and I shout, "Mama came and no one woke me!"

He grimaces looking at me hissing angrily, "Shhh, you'll wake William, you shithead."

I cover my mouth and look at William to see if I woke him realizing how loudly I shouted. I watch but he was still in a deep slumber mostly likely still exhausted from last night. My eyes return to Levi, my hands still covering my mouth and mumble, "sorry."

Levi mutters walking towards me staying within the sun patch, "You were tired, mother and I thought it was best if both you and William slept." Still, he should have woke me, I had so many questions but I was hungry and I was more focused on what was inside the basket. He gently rests the basket on the table in front of me letting go of the handles that fall to the basket's sides.

"If you were wondering if there is any news, there isn't. A few more days more is necessary so don't worry is what mother said to tell you," he says his voice back to being emotionless.

A few more days longer wouldn't hurt me. I lean forward opening the basket pulling out the bags. The food wasn't in the most appetizing form, coming in a plastic see-thru bags but it would do just fine, school lunches were far worse than this and I tore into it.

The color wasn't very appealing, dark red almost borderline brown. As I drink, it doesn't go smoothly down my throat it was like drinking orange juice with pulp in it. I grimace at the texture of it, how long has it been sitting at room temperature. The taste was off too and I wished I had bread or something it could go on or be mixed with.

In the midst of eating, I look up at him and ask, "Did you eat?" noticing he wasn't eating himself which was odd. My eyes lower to his white button up again seeing something odd. There on the collar of his shirt were small specs of blood amongst the other stains, it was barely noticeable. I would have never seen them if he was far away because I would have figured they were like the other stains on his shirt.

"I ate already," he answers. I stare at his shirt counting the blood specs, there were three in total and they were no bigger than the eraser side of a pencil.

"...I see and did you cut yourself cleaning, there's blood on your shirt?," I ask before looking up at him.

Many emotions cross his face which has a look of horror and he instantly clutches his shirt muttering, "Papercut, turnaround I need to change." 

A papercut, but I didn't see any paper and I turn in my chair facing the other way, "Okay...." I respond confused by his reaction.

I close my eyes continuing to drink savoring the taste and for some odd reason, this was the best food I had in a long time. It's funny when you are hungry everything tastes better. I hear his shirt hit the ground followed by the sound of his buckle as he undoes it. His pants hit the ground, the belt buckle clinking against the cement floor of the basement. I hear the scuffle of his shoes as he removes his pants.

I wonder what he looked like, the last time I saw him partially nude was when he went swimming with us when I was around William's age. He loved the water just as much as I did but it stopped suddenly. He wouldn't go swimming one year saying he hated the water and so he sat to the side each time always next to Mama...

"You can turn back," he states and I slowly turn around not in any hurry, I put my wrappers on the table feeling full and satisfied, the throb behind my eyes lessening. Just like the other clothes he was wearing he looked nice. He didn't even shower only changing clothing.

I glance out the window the sun was descending quickly. He looks out the window speaking quickly, "Avril help me put lights up." He grabs a box off the floor and just like the basket he puts it on the table in front of me. 

"Okay, I guess," I say standing to my feet to peek inside, it was a box full of Christmas lights.

"Help me hang them in the rafters" he orders pulling out a long strand of lights from the box and handing them to me. 

The lights looked old not like any I seen before, "Christmas lights but we have candles?" I state draping the blanket on the chair I slept in the entire night. He only glares at me and I let out a heavy sigh picking up a strand of Christmas lights, "Christmas in October," I mutter sarcastically. 

...

Edited on: March 2nd, 2019


	4. Wishing On An Eyelash

Three weeks have passed since we came to be in the basement and Levi was unfazed. He already had a routine, he would sit in the only real ray of light from the sun from dawn to dusk. It was irritating but it was Levi after all, never fazed by anything. How long would he sit there, day by day just letting life pass him by? It always seemed he was waiting like he was imprisoned in an iron cage and just staring ahead at someone with a key patiently.

I wanted to ask him things but I am never able too.... It never seemed to be the right time or when it seemed to be a good time, it always got interrupted by grandmother or mother.....I sigh and my breath comes out in a white cloud of smoke due to how frigid the basement has become within weeks. I stared at the yellow light that streamed in and it allowed me to see the flowing particles of dust spinning and spiraling around.

As I stared at the floating dust particles, I noticed the sun was losing its intensity. It was getting farther and farther away making night come earlier each day which also meant it would get colder too. The sun was low in the sky already and the moment the sun was close to setting Levi would arise from a seemingly deep sleep.

My eyes stray to his peaceful sleeping face. Soon he would be sitting with me on the couch but not to close to me or sitting at the table hoovering as close to the candle as possible and so the sight of the flickering glow of the candlelight against his ghostly white skin had become the norm for William and I. Even on the coldest of days that warm color of yellow and orange on his face warmed me.

I was beginning to notice the most subtle things like the candlelight on his face and other little details which I missed in the past. An example is how he sat in the chair he currently was on. His back was always facing the wall and his front facing the stairwell. He is always on guard and any unusual noise he would wake instantly which reminded me of how light of candle would flicker against his face and how he shied from the darkened parts of the room. 'Was he afraid of the dark,' I pondered deep in my thoughts.

The 'pop, pop, pop' noises drew me to William who sat on the floor playing soldiers. He was pretending to be fighting a Nazi soldier and the soldier was apparently on the losing side just like in history in William's fantasy world because seconds later he made gurgling noises and there weren't any more 'pop' noises come from the Nazi soldier.

William the polar opposite of Levi was constantly crying and begging for Mama. Though right now he was playing so no horrible whines or yelling fits were coming from his small lungs. He looked cute right now all bundled up in his puffy blue jacket with his blue hat tugged snugly over his head covering his pointy little ears. Then draped over his shoulders to keep the cold at bay was a fluffy throw blanket.

When William threw one of his tantrums, Levi was the only one able to quiet him. All Levi had to do was speak sternly to William which was two words for Levi, 'Be quiet,' and just like magic William would behave again. 

The only problem was, Levi only disciplined William after growing irritated enough. I only wished I could control William's outbursts and I was glad Levi was here with me because I wouldn't know what to do especially since Mama hardly came around but it was really Mama's fault for William's tantrums. They only started getting worse when Mama started visiting us less often.

Levi was the only person she spent quality time with when she visited us, it wasn't fair but it was like that before we came here. She always doted on Levi and when she went out shopping she always brought him even on days where it was supposed to be just me and her. He would carry her bags of clothes and boxes containing expensive shoes never once complaining like any other young teenage boy would. She would also always kiss his cheeks and peck his lips openly telling him he make a 'good husband one day.'

Whenever I saw her peck his lips I never thought anything of it, just shrugging it off. It bothered me now that I think about it, it was strange. I never saw any of my friend's mothers peck their son's lips as Mama did with Levi. I lean my head back, I was thinking too much. 'Idle hands are the devil's workshop' I tell myself but I can't stop thinking about their strange relationship.

The days she visited Levi in this musty basement, she would always smile and tell us she needs to speak with Levi privately, 'adult things' she termed it and they go to his bedroom shutting the door. I tried to listen several times but William was always too noisy with the new gift Mama brought him, almost like she did it on purpose but Mama didn't have any hidden motives, it was just me thinking like that. I felt ashamed of myself Mama was trying her hardest for all of us and here I was thinking poor and bad things about her.

It just frustrated me though because after she was done talking to him she always tells me and William to be quiet, that Levi was resting and not to bother him because he was feeling anemic or tired. 

Levi was never one to be athletic really always sitting out for gym class but I never asked why. I always assumed he choose not to participate and I could almost hear his answer if I had asked him why he didn't, 'I'm not going to participate in such filthy activities.' I could imagine him saying it but I never thought he was anemic though he was always pale I just thought it was the natural color of his skin.

Speaking of school I heard stories at how he not only mocked the gym teacher but his other teachers as well, though he fought viciously with the gym teacher the most calling Mr. O'brian a 'fat ass that who needed to choke on a calorie filled mccheeseburger and die.' That what my boyfriend told me and more about Levi since they were in the same grade together and in many of the same classes.

When Levi came home from school he never talked about his day only sliding his report card or any graded paper on the kitchen table or counter for Mama and Papa to find. They were always hundreds, I never saw him score less than a hundred and often wondered if it was possible for him to fail or suck at anything. So without hearing stories from Jackson, I would have no idea about how he was in school.

Even if I attempted to talk to him I was sure I would get vague answers just like recently when I asked him what he and Mama spoke about. He always said 'unimportant stuff,' which wasn't an answer more of an avoidance. It irritated me when he said 'unimportant stuff,' shrugging me off like I was annoyance worse than any fly. 

It just I was worried, Papa's death was so unexpected and it was just that his skin was always so much paler after her visits and then he sits in the sun dozing like he was now uncaring about the world around him. William's screams and cries never phased him either during days like these.

Worry ate at me, I didn't want to lose anyone else. Maybe he was sick or ill, and neither Levi or Mama was telling me because right now he hardly ate anything and it looked like he was wasting away.

I didn't want to be all alone down here with William. I didn't even know when Mama be able to convince grandmother to let us out. Levi needed to see a doctor and lift my head up looking at him.

He looked like a living ghost his skin was becoming more ethereal, the sun illuminating the blood pulsing through his veins. His lips were a rosy pink much brighter than his skin contrasting greatly just like his thick black eyelashes. 

His clothing looked a little looser though it must be my imagination because we had enough food, less than what we had before but enough not to lose weight. He was always so buttoned up, no one was around except William and I but still he wore long sleeves, high collars or turtlenecks, and all buttons were buttoned.

Though he looked more fragile than glass he was so pretty to look at and he always smelled good... I wished my boyfriend looked like him but he looked the complete opposite of him. My boyfriend was tall, masculine, and blonde like me and my boyfriend couldn't be compared to that of a doll like Levi. It was odd to want someone who looked like your brother so I choose Jackson, I didn't want to be accused of such from those around me. Mama once commented on it and it was so awkward, her eyes seeming to see through me.....

He turns his head in his sleep, getting more comfortable, tucking his head into his shoulder. He sighs after getting more comfortable and I get a glimpse of one of his incisor teeth from the slight part of his lips. He still had his baby teeth and soon he be getting his adult teeth. I wanted a closer look, though I knew I wasn't supposed to touch but still...

I get out of my chair and stalk closer to him, he wouldn't notice if I was quiet. I glance to see where William is and he is on a throw rug Mama brought down during one of her visits. His hand is resting on a toy red sports car. He always had a fascination with cars often telling Papa he was going to be a racecar driver. Papa always encouraged us to chase our dreams while Mama always told us to be reasonable.

I get within arms reach of Levi but I avoid the sun staying within the shadows. The cement was ice cold nipping my stalking feet and the shivers travel up my leg and then my spine. My dress was thin and made of chiffon offering barely any warmth and none to my feet where the lacey ends hovered over my knees. It was a pretty black dress and I thought it made me look a lot like Mama though she was more shapelier than me.

I reach out my hand in front of me the sunlight basking my whitening skin in yellow and warmth, first my fingers then my arm. The sun felt good against my skin and the warmth was pleasant and I began to yearn for it. I didn't want to be stuck in a dark and dingy basement without the sun and only having Christmas lights as my sun and the small ray that comes through the small window.

When I almost touch his cheek one of his eye snaps open, startling me. A single vibrant blue slit with specs of grey is staring into my own grey eyes, his warm breath blowing across my hand with his exhale speaking a single word, "Mother..." His eye shifts down to my hand, the slit expanding and returning to that of a normal iris and he takes air into his chest before exhaling, " Ohhh Avril... What are you doing....?"

His eyes travel the length of my arm and I wonder the same thing. What excuse could I offer, touching others fangs were strictly forbidden unless you were lovers or husband and wife. 

"Nothing..." I respond redrawing my hand pulling my fingers into my palm. If he hadn't woken up, what would I have done..... I was just going to touch his fang it wasn't that big of a deal, I didn't even understand why it was against the rules.

"It can't be nothing... What did you want?" he asks his eyes narrowing in confusion and annoyance.

"It really was nothing, just dust in your hair but it's gone now," I mutter lying to him, it being the worst and dumbest lie I have ever told. Really what was I thinking just now because what I just considered doing was sexual and he was my brother?

What I was about to do made me recall something from a few years ago. They were memories about Papa's assistant; however, she was fired long before Papa's death but not from doing poorly at work.... I always thought she was nice, real pretty, smart, and kind just like Mama. She always gave me gifts whether it be chocolate, sweets, or toys. She also paid extra attention to Levi showering him with gifts...

I didn't understand why she paid so much attention to him and I always got super jealous thinking she liked him better than me. In a sense, she did, but not a good like. I only heard bits and pieces but apparently, she was touching Levi inappropriately and Papa caught her in the act.

I didn't understand what that meant completely back then being a stupid kid and all but now I had an idea what she did to him. She acted out what I was thinking and if not more than what I thought just now...

"Just dust?" he asks his voice quieter than before.

"Yeah just dust, but it blew away when I walked over just now..." I explain deepening the lie. What if he wasn't sleeping or napping and knew what I was saying was a complete lie. No that isn't right either, I didn't say anything and my hand never touched his cheek. The lie could possibly be believable, I just couldn't show any signs I was lying.

Levi like Mama always caught me in a lie when I told them. William was the one who told me recently how they caught me explaining to me that I avert my eyes, my voice gets shaky, and I tense up. He was six and explaining to me what I was doing wrong while he was already a pro at lying only getting caught when he didn't think anyone would check to see if his stories added up.

I didn't have to worry about lying when his hand passes mine which was still lifted in the air. His fingers are outstretched to my cheek and the tips touch, his fingers run across my cheek just below my right eye. My eyes follow his fingers and I shiver the moment they touch my cheek, his fingers much warmer than I expected. Perhaps the sun giving him a fake warmth like it was doing to my own arm.

"Are you cold" his voice gentle when he asks. 

"No, I mean I am but-" I reply trying to be honest.

But he cuts me off opening his other eye and staring at my dress ordering, "Go change into appropriate clothing don't be stupid... Wearing such thin clothing during the late fall, stupid"

I bite my lip trying to hold back being snotty, we were stuck in the same room and he was right... I should have worn something warmer but I wanted to look like Mama as much as possible. I wanted to be like her, my dream consisting of being a wife and mother like her.

Levi dreamed big especially when he isolated himself from everyone. I heard him talking to Mama, he plans on traveling when he graduated from school. Mama didn't make a big fuss just humming a response when he brought it up while Papa was ecstatic for Levi, talking how he wished he did some traveling and maybe they could take trips together. There wouldn't be any more such talks with Papa around anymore. I wondered if Levi still dreamed of traveling...

His next question was unexpected leaving me completely stunned by just thinking about me, "Are you eating enough?" he asks. 

I sigh making an answer up, "Yes, but what are you doing?" I answer but also asking a question trying to draw his attention off of me and onto him. My eyes stare at his arm, this was unlike him to touch others.

His fingers continue touching my cheek, rubbing under my right eye and he slowly curls his fingers one by one, pointing his fingers to the ceiling in an open fist. On the tip of his pointer finger laid a single blonde eyelash.

"There was an eyelash on your cheek," he explains before murmuring, "Close your eyes and blow, make a wish."

I could feel my cheeks starting to burn, "what do you mean?" I asked confused. 

He smirks, "You never heard the tale?" I was awestruck, it was the first time I saw him sorta smile in a long time. 

It was nice and I shake my head responding, "No," curious about the tale.

He draws one of his knees to his chest resting one hand on his knee, scolding me, "Careful stupid, you might blow the eyelash off my finger," before explaining the tale. 

He settles in the chair adjusting himself, before finally getting to the story, "Well, they say if you close your eyes and blow gently on an eyelash while you make a wish and then when you open your eyes again and the eyelash is gone your wish comes true. Goo-"

I don't let him finish speaking getting excited again like a little kid. This was the Levi I used to know and I smile, "I want to try," I say happily. I close my eyes blowing gently. 

"You," he grumbles but it isn't a real grumble, more of a playful grumble.

'I wish we can be a happy family again, Levi, William, Mama, and I' I say loudly in my head as I blow. I wished with all my heart even though I knew it was only a silly tale but it lightens my heart thinking Levi was trying to cheer me up in his own way.

I open my eyes and the eyelash is gone from his finger. My smile grows wider, "I made my wish Levi, do you want to hear it?," I ask. 

He huffs annoyed his eyes getting dark, "No, then it won't come true dumb ass, you better have not wished for anything too stupid," he warns.

"I didn't" I smile goofily forgetting all about touching him inappropriately. It was only a thought, a lot of people must have similar or weird thoughts. No one acts on them, it's like thinking about killing someone and fantasizing about it but no one ever does except a select few. It was just a crossing thought and I missed my boyfriend and how we used to hold hands.

I move away twirling a bit, my dress swirling with my movement, "thank you Levi" I giggle softly not wanting to wake William who had slumped over his toy soldiers. I step over one of Willaim's toy cars prancing about gleefully, something so simple making me happy. 

"Hey," Levi hisses making me pause amongst the toys.

"Yes?" I ask threading my fingers together behind my back, turning to look at him. "Turn the lights on, it's getting dark already," he orders gesturing to the Christmas lights which hung above ours heads in the rafters. 

Him and these lights, he always demands they be turned on before dusk. It was weird, I know we didn't have many candles left but this was strange. It was the same routine day after day with him so maybe it had something to do with why Mama came to visit him. I thought the lights were something we used so we be able to see at night in order to entertain ourselves.

Just like all my questions, there were so many lights when I glance above our heads. The lights were in intricate and overlapping designs, there were yellow, green, red, and white Christmas lights. I didn't help him putting up all the lights and wished I had, he ended up doing all the work himself. I woke up in my bed the next day, Levi putting all the lights up himself. The last thing I remembered that night was holding a strand of lights sitting on the couch yawning. 

After that yawn, I couldn't remember anything. I wish he waited for me, he could have gotten hurt though he wouldn't be Levi if he waited patiently when there was work to be done. William, of course, fell in love with it, calling them his stars. William always said the cutest things.

"Okay, lord Levi sama," I giggle making fun of him and opening the power box flipping the switch. The Christmas lights spring to life in the darkroom making the darkroom light up with the different colored lights. So today ended up being one of the first light-hearted days in a while and ended up being something I think back on when things became gloomy.

Edited on: March 2nd, 2019


	5. Baby Teeth

Each day that passed I grew more interested in his teeth becoming fascinated. I would get glimpses of them when he talked and I would focus on them. It was the beginning of an unhealthy obsession but I couldn't stop. His incisors were dull and rounded, they weren't adult teeth by any means but I assume he would get them soon. He was almost an adult, maybe a year, maybe two or this year he would grow them in replacing those baby teeth of his.

They glistened and I wanted to run my fingers over the tips of his incisors just like how my fingers were touching his blanket. My pointer finger constantly running along the length of the letter 'L' over and over again. I touched the blanket imagining it was his teeth I was touching, gently ghosting down and over the tip and pressing against the dull point of the tooth until my finger bled.

I stop tracing the letter 'L' to grip the blanket imagining how his teeth would sink into my neck, his tongue hesitantly tasting the flesh above my pulse before grazing his teeth over the pulse in want just like he was with his food. I wanted to trail my tongue.....

"Is there something on my face" he hisses his cherry red lips pulling back in a sneer ruining my vivid fantasy but my eyes move to his lips. 

'They looked kissable...' I think fawning over them, I never got my first kiss with Jackson who I could barely remember the face of now.

I remember he had blonde hair and he was taller than me. He was rather much masculine unlike Levi; however, I could only describe what he didn't look like Levi. Levi's looks were my ideal type, not Jackson. I only started dating him because Mama made me feel weird for liking boys who looked like Levi though not a single boy I met looked anything like him.

Levi hisses out again when I don't respond growing more impatient, "Shithead, are you listening to me at all?" He always liked the word shit using it in many of his sentences when he was annoyed or angry. His mouth was always foul but somehow proper at the same time.

I strum my fingers along the table and returning to rubbing the letter 'L' on Levi's blanket not answering him, to lost in my own thoughts. Thoughts about his lips and teeth or how his tongue wets his lips which was almost sexy, his tongue was so dainty and pink. My tongue wasn't as feminine or dainty, mine was a dull red.

I think he was becoming frustrated with me not acknowledging him but what would it be like if I were to kiss him with my tongue. Better than a normal kiss? He was getting really mad, it was cute. His eyebrows were knitted, his lips drawn into a scowl, his jaw was set firmly, and his eyes were narrowing as he thought about what to do.

He walks closer to me resting one hand on the back of the chair and then one on the table. I pull the blanket around me and look up at him, my hand finding a piece of a hair that had fallen into my face. I begin to twirl it, turning my head to look up at him. He grabs my hand that is strumming against the table, stopping the movement of my fingers, "brat, are you listening to me?" he asks his eyes more narrowed the irises barely showing.

"Levi... Have you kissed before?," I ask humming leaning closer to his face. 

He makes a confused face doing what he does best when he speaks, "Why do you want to know?" replying to me but avoiding answering my question.

I puff up my cheeks, "Just curious... You must have, you are 16 almost 17. Jackson said you did." I reply interrogating him. He starts sliding his hand away, the bastard was going to say he was going to his room. I grab it entwining my fingers with his, "Well, Levi? I'm just asking about kissing." I state.

He seems to be getting nervous because I could feel him trying to pull his hand from mine. "Let go, Avril," he orders.

I narrow my eyes, "Are you a virgin" I giggle being mean. "Is the only woman you ever kissed was Mama. How do her lips feel?" I ask my words meant to anger and hurt him.

I'm not sure why I was furious but it annoyed me for some odd reason when Mama pecked his lips, her lips seem to linger longer than normal. I was starting to think it was odd and strange but before I never questioned it thinking it was completely in range of normal. How long were we down here in this dingy hell?

There was already snow on the ground, the snow blocking our only window to the outside world. We couldn't tell when it was day or night anymore. Really the only light we had were the stupid Christmas lights Levi had found in one of the boxes down here. I was beginning to hate this place more with each day. The glow of the Christmas lights making patches of my skin look blue, yellow, or red.

It was so cold now that winter was here, I had to wear a jacket all the time and the blankets grandmother had given us didn't offer much warmth. We all slept together, William being the middle and Levi and I on the outside. Levi on one side of William and I was on the other side of him. We were all crammed onto one bed which was William's bed. We had given William the most comfortable bed and room in the basement while I had the second crappiest room and then Levi having the worst.

Levi didn't have a bed being forced to sleep in a chair sitting up. He never once complained and I even told him I'd sleep with William, he could have my bed though it didn't take long for us to be all in the same bed, the bitter cold forcing us too. An old mercury thermometer Levi found read the temperature dipped as cold as 38 degrees some nights. Our only saving grace was the pipes needed heat so the water wouldn't freeze so the temperature could never dip below freezing.

Bedrooms were unimportant now, all three of us did have a bedroom and Levi's was the worst. All ceiling panels that should be covering the pipes in his bedroom were gone and now that we've been down here living and eating normal food because we were still growing, the rats and mice have returned.

The cold also drove them back to the building and Levi mentioned he was sure us living in the basement alone wouldn't draw them. He assumed there were parties being held at the mansion, normal food was there thus attracting the vermin. Levi could see them scurrying above his head, their eyes glowing yellow in the pitch blackness as he described it.

At least the panels in my ceiling were still up but I could still hear the scurry of their feet on the panels in my room which freaked me out. I ended up in William's room that night and several other nights hearing them again. William didn't mind enjoying the extra warmth I provided him. He even got Levi to sleep with him by some miracle, Levi not making one snotty remark when William had asked him. He just agreed to it.

When we went to bed each night, I would stare at Levi. I would pretend we were William's parents, Levi being the dad and I was the mom. It was a fantasy like the other ones I was having about kissing him and touching him. I questioned if it was weird since we used to play house with each other where Levi would actually pretend to be my husband and I pretended to be his wife. I also told Papa back then I would marry Levi too.

Mama promised it to be only a few days. Then days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, it was the middle of December, close to Levi's birthday. My birthday had already passed, I turned 13. Levi in a week and half be turning 17, he was another year closer to adulthood. Well, age didn't count technically because growing in your adult teeth was what made you an actual adult. I saw him running his fingers over his incisor teeth.

I heard it was painful for men to grow their teeth, the ache unbearable sometimes. Women didn't have the same problem with their teeth, their teeth falling out just like normal teeth except there were a small amount of ache but nothing compared to the men. I was always wondered about it, Mama had said it was because men sinned first.

The first male of our kind was unable to control his hunger while his wife was gone addicted to the taste of taking from the source. The story goes his wife was gone longer than planned due to being held up in her travels never to reach her beloved husband in time to stop him from killing. She unlike her husband took from animals and also took from normals being extremely careful when she took from them. Before she left she had given her husband a vial of her life to get him through while she was gone.

The first male was greedy and drank from the vial immediately and when his wife didn't return like planned he succumbed to his hungry and sank his fangs into that of a normal draining them of all of their life. He was unable to control how much he took being greedy like he was with the vial draining the normal of everything.

It is said in the story god cursed the first of our kind because of the first male unable to control himself so every son after him that they be in extreme agony growing their teeth. The reason for their pain is so they would know the sin of their first father. God cursed the daughters of the wife for failing to return in time to her husband like she promised. Though the curse of her daughters was nowhere near that of the sons. They were given a slight and dull ache in their teeth when they grew theirs in to give them a glimpse of the pain a man goes through growing his teeth.

I always liked the story but I liked it far better now. If the story was ever true then the man was weak, all three of us have been starved and we haven't gone berserk killing others. The story Mama told about the first of our kind of how we must bear the pain of growing of teeth said the husband went three days without his drinking from his wife before he killed. Three days was absolutely nothing unless us the descendants have gotten stronger than the firsts of our kind.

We were starved and even considered eating the rats at one point from how hungry we were. Eating rats, it made me want to laugh, people from a normal family being forced to live like this because of one silly mistake. If Papa saw how we're living now would he still kill himself I wondered?

I sigh coming back to reality, Levi's face had gone pale. I had lost my anger, I wasn't sure what was causing these drastic mood swings in me and me taking a jab at Levi like that. I blamed being unable to see the sun and being trapped in one room for three months. My only company was William, Levi, Mama, and grandmother. I wanted to be around others my age or at least leave the basement and see a new change of scenery for once.

My fingers ease up on his hand and Levi just snaps. He yanks his hand to his chest, "Disgusting" he yells raising his voice the very first time. It takes me by surprise, Levi never once raised his voice, it's always been snotty comments, remarks, or retorts. "You think I'm sleeping with mother?" he asks.

I never accused him of sleeping with Mama. I just stare at him feeling somewhere in between shocked and confused. "You think it's funny I never kissed anyone, I wouldn't do it just with anyone," he shouts louder while rubbing his hand that I had pinned seconds ago.

I had no idea what was going on. I was being mean but I wasn't expecting a reaction like that from him. He looked so hurt and I was able to get a glimpse what Levi hid under that perfect neutral mask he wore every day. He was hurting just like me and Willaim if not more something else bothering him just as much as Papa's death and the house burning down.

"I just wanted to know if you wanted me to read that French book you were so interested in since you can't read French. If you find me disgusting don't talk to me then," he hisses his eyes looking watery. He moves quickly to his bedroom opening the door and slamming it shut dirt he couldn't get to while cleaning falls to the ground in front of his door.

Willaim who was playing with his red sports car stops staring at the door. He looks as confused as me just staring at the red painted door whose paint was peeling away in chips. I had no intention of driving Levi away to his room and I sat in the chair freezing, hungry, and lonely trying to figure out a way to apologize, to tell Levi I'm sorry. I pull my knees to my chest on the chair pressing my head against them sighing. I really am the worst or tainted blood as grandmother puts it.

"Avril" Williams mumbles in confusion, "what's wrong with Levi?" William holds his toy car to his chest. I didn't just upset Levi but also Willaim. 

I can only reply, "I don't know but I screwed up this time...." I had no idea where to start, how do I apologize to him and I didn't want to be shut off from my only company that was close to my age. I prayed he would forgive me.

...

Edited on: March 2nd, 2019


	6. Mistletoe

Already a week has passed since our fight, marking today as Christmas Eve.... exactly a day before Levi's birthday.... I still hadn't made up with Levi though, the days after the fight and even today appeared that everything was back to 'normal' if you could call it that..... I felt extreme guilt, but I couldn't find the courage to apologize for my behavior, it seemed my mouth was always to dry and my tongue always tied into a twisted knot refusing to say the words I been practicing inside my head for days. Besides that small glimpse during our fight, I never knew what Levi was thinking which made apologizing so much harder. I wish I did know what he was thinking it would make things so much easier...

The worst part about today, it meant I didn't have a single thing to give either Levi or William tomorrow..... I wished I had something to give them but I had nothing to give anyone. William, I could probably come up with something but there really wasn't anything to give to Levi meaning I had nothing to give him for his birthday....

There had to be something I could give him but I was pulling blanks; however, I could ask him what he wanted for a present. Though I'm sure if I asked him what he wanted for his birthday or even Christmas he probably answer me with silence until thinking strumming his long fingers along his finger and saying, 'clean this.' I guess it was better than nothing so I would tell him he gets free two any favors from me. It definitely meant I would have to clean tomorrow or the next day for sure which was a downer but it was a present in some sense.

It was unfair how Levi for my birthday which was last month regifted the blanket he was given last Christmas. It was gift from Papa and I which annoyed me to some extent. I tried to argue with him but he gave me that glare that symbolized don't argue with me. I was pouty the whole day holding my drawing William had given me with the blanket wrapped around me. Though I pouted the entire day, I was happy. So much for turning thirteen.....

Then there was Mama... and also Papa... 'First Christmas without Papa and also Mama just like it was my first birthday without them,' I think staring at my frozen hands curling and uncurling them trying to pump blood through them. 'The first Christmas....' I repeat the thought to myself and I uncurl my hands staring at my palms, my fingers tingling from the cold.

All I could say was this was the worst Christmas of my life. I look over at the fake Christmas tree which was adorned with misfit ornaments and under its plastic pine needles the rug circling its base laid barren. The tree was at least decorated and decorating it was somewhat normal, the only people who were absent during decorating was Mama and Papa. We really didn't need them here because William had a ton of fun that day and I was beginning to care less and less about wanting Mama around.

Mama said she be busy Christmas day with grandpa but I didn't see why she couldn't visit us just for a few minutes. It was Levi's birthday and Christmas was still a big deal for William, she could spare if only a minute or two to wish Levi happy birthday and William Merry Christmas. It would make all the difference to William and maybe Levi but like my birthday she wouldn't come....

I let out a soft sigh, wrapping the regifted blanket tighter around my shoulders. This blanket was warm and how I wished if Santa was real I ask him to give me lots of blankets just like this blanket and then also socks to keep my toes toasty. I would use those extra blankets not just for myself but for the three of us each night when we crawled into William's bed. Each day that passed we spent more time there and those extra blankets would only add to the warmth....

Last Christmas was warm, the house smelling like peppermint and I started to remember it. Levi, Mama, William, Papa, and I were all so happy that day.... There were so many different candies and all sorts of colorful knick-knacks which lined our stockings over the fireplace. Then there was the tree, a beautiful fir with even and full branches decorated with silver and gold tinsel. Ornaments hung elegantly from the branches reflecting the glow of the Christmas lights that were weaved up and down the tree giving the living room such a warm and welcoming feeling. I could also remember the candy canes which littered the branches and how William and I used to sneak them off the tree to snack on.....

I close my eyes remembering the taste of the candy canes and then the red liquid. My tongue sliding across my lips, I was so hungry and I open my eyes. They fall on Levi who is sitting in a recliner whose days were long numbered. Yellow stuffing peeked through the gashes and gouges seeming to be the favorite scratching post of a cat in the past. A thought floats through my mind as my tongue runs over my chap and stinging lips that the past is all I can talk about but what about the future. Did we still have a future being stuck here isolated from the world?

The thoughts become faint in my head but still there my attention directed elsewhere to Levi's neck, to the pulse hidden just below the surface of the skin pushing the red substance through his body. The pulse was slow and moderate, his body in a relaxed state. All I had to do... my tongue flicks across my lips again wetting and smoothing the rough and peeling skin.

"Avril....," a voice calls out to me but it falls deaf to my ears. All I wanted was to kiss the skin where the movement of blood pumped from the heart arousing the flesh causing that tiniest of movement. It was that tiniest of movement that I craved to run my teeth over, to tease and torment until that calm exterior of his began to break and crumble because of what I could do to him.

I wanted to be closer to him, running my hands through his hair, kissing his lips, running my tongue along the seam of his lips, and digging my claws into his cheeks prying his mouth open just enough to slip my tongue inside. I would watch his expression melding my mouth with his, pressing my tongue against the tip of each fang that ached him so terribly each day.

Even now in that recliner, he sat in he would alternate between rubbing one tooth than the other. The pain of growing your adult incisors was what Levi was dealing with right now. The ache mostly likely horrendous and terrible by that constant grimace he bore signaling how much pain he was currently in and dealing with as of right now.

"Avril" the voice louder and sharper but they do not pierce through my perverse thoughts but a new weight suddenly falling into my lap. 

I jump a sensation similar to that of waking from a dead sleep, "W-what?" my voice alarmed and panicky. I look around and see Levi's lips pursed together in a shhh movement, thought the sound is silent.

I look to my lap to see William's head pressed against my stomach, drool slipping through his parted rosebud lips. The slight up and down motion of his chest and small breaths escaping his lips telling me he was in a sound sleep. My fingers ghost across his hair, he looked like a little angel like this, his face relaxed. You would have never known he was starving like this.

"Levi," I whisper my voice hush not wanting to wake William but little children sleep so soundly, it is nearly impossible to wake them. I could have hung him upside down but I didn't want to test it out. I look back to Levi craning my neck to look at him when he doesn't answer me. 

He stands stretching, his bones cracking and popping as he did so, "what," he asks his eyes blinking lazily.

This was the person I was having perverse dreams about... Rude and snotty was the best to describe him. He calls out to me but then when I call out to him he asks for a reason. His eyes meet mine and I immediately avert my eyes whatever was left of my fantasy is gone. I was turning insane from being stuck in this musty and dank basement. I no longer held any brotherly admiration for him..... I didn't think of or about my boyfriend either nor did I care... I wanted to kiss and touch Levi, my own brother...

I couldn't really think too much on the matter and I mutter, "William."

I hoped Levi would get the hint that I wanted him to carry William to bed and I quickly get a snotty response, "I know." My fingers stop caressing the soft tressels of William's hair and I glare up at him.

He walks over to us placing his feet down carefully around the toys William had left on the floor carelessly, pieces of trains, cars, soldiers, dinosaurs, and other things I had no idea what they were perhaps from a new children's show. He gets to where I was on the couch with William and slowly but carefully picks William up, sliding his hands under William's bottom cusping it before lifting him.

I watch the muscles ripple under his shirt, my lips parting my mind beginning to fantasize again for the hundredth time. I guess the perverse thoughts weren't gone..... What would it feel like to touch his muscles, to have his arms around me securely? It would no doubt feel good. To have those strong muscles pin me back and to have him latch to my neck littering it with kisses going lower with each kiss. His soft lips against my skin, his teeth grazing mine, and the dull feel of his fangs nibbling my flesh.

My fantasy comes to a quick and abrupt end with a kick to my shin. "Omppph" escapes from me before my hands cover my mouth preventing any more noises from slipping out. I couldn't even get to the good part in the fantasy where he is about to touch between my legs. Wait why would I want him to touch there? This was confusing... and I remove my hands from my mouth recovering from the kick, only a faint throb present.

I glare up at him, Levi's eyes already narrowed in annoyance and it wasn't long until he spats under his breath, "what the hell are you doing?"

'What am I doing!?' I yell in my head, what the hell was he doing the prick. If he wasn't holding William right now.....

"Open the door" he demands his voice a hiss still. 

I mutter under my breath curses, "Prick, bastard," knowing full well he could hear me and I get up begrudging, the blanket sliding off my shoulder and onto the couch. I walk to the bedroom door and open it.

The door creaks open, the doorknob resisting turning by my hand, I had to shove at the door to get it to open. William's bedroom had become the bedroom for all three of us, it was much too cold to sleep by ourselves. William's room was the warmest room and in the best condition. The bed was slightly cramped but it didn't matter since we were so cold.

I walk into the bedroom and Levi follows me in holding William steadily and carefully. I could feel his glare on my back but I ignore it walking over to the bed and peeling the layers of blankets back for him to place William into the bed. I hope he knew I was still mad at him and I was only behaving because I didn't want to wake up William though my initial anger was slipping from me.

I watch Levi gently put William in bed and I pull the blankets up to William's neck covering him. Levi ruffles his hair and I peck William's cheek, this had become the norm for us. Levi and I had become William's parents in a way. We were substitutes though I could hardly fill out Mama's shoes while Levi already filled Papa's shoes.

We slowly crept away from the bed and back into the living room but it wasn't really a living room. We only called it that because we spent the most time in it socializing. We also ate here too. It was the closest we had for a living room. I missed our home, especially our living room and my bedroom. I hadn't watch tv or been on the internet for so long. I was disconnected from the modern outside world...

I walk past the makeshift kitchen table, glancing down at the paper cut out of a mistletoe. William had work hard all the night before crafting this simple mistletoe. He said it would grant me a wish if I were to kiss someone under it. Little did he know I already made a wish upon the eyelash and it still hadn't come true yet; however, I had this inkling it would never come true.

I touch the red construction paper which was the red berries of the mistletoe. I smile remembering how this morning William had given me the mistletoe holding it over our heads after making me kneel on the ground and close my eyes. I wasn't really sure what he was doing at the time unaware of paper mistletoe but I did what he told me and before I knew it he had kissed my forehead.

It was really cute and I just knew William was going to be a real lady killer in the future. I would have to beat the girls away though Levi never had to beat the boys away from me... The only one expressing interest in me was Jackson, my ex-boyfriend, I suppose.

I had no way to tell if he was waiting for me or with another girl. I wouldn't blame him if he was dating another girl because I wouldn't wait this long without a word especially if I was told the other person be coming back right away. I couldn't text, call, or email saying I was okay or for him to move on. If he was waiting for me I had no interest in being with him. Was it bad?

I wonder what he would think if he found out I lusted for my brother? Would he slander my name like others would if he found out or would he accept my thoughts since I been stuck down in this dungeon forever? I believe most people be unable to forgive someone for such things such as fantasizing about having sex with a person who is a blood relative. It wasn't just fantasies, I wanted to do it...

Levi closes the door behind us being the last one out and just like how the door protested to being opened it protested to being shut. The door having to be yanked hard by Levi for it to shut. I pick up the paper mistletoe toying with its edges, I knew William was secured in his bed..... It was just the two of us......I wanted to try...

I continue to play with the corner of the green paper which acted as the leaf for the mistletoe. I debated if I should do what I been thinking about for weeks maybe even months. I could always playoff I was joking... A joke if things went bad or something. I'm not entirely sure what I was even doing anymore.

"Levi" I mutter who was speed walking towards his sunspot until tripping over a soldier. The toy soldier snaps under his heel with a sickening crunch. The head of the toy soldier rolling away from its crushed body. It was so ominous, the head a few inches from its body...

He stops in his tracks muttering, "Damn toys." He lifts his foot stepping to the side of the toy and leans down scoping the broken soldier up. He 'tsks' after the examination of the toy and he walks to the table I am standing next to laying the toy soldier down. I glance at the soldier... It was a vampire soldier.....

When I turn my head to look at Levi he was already across the basement rummaging through a toolbox. Did he forget to respond to me? I rub my fingers over the pointy edges of the paper, choking on the next words I want to say. I take a step forward hesitant and then another. 'Remember just a joke,' I remind myself trying to encourage myself.

Levi was to busy studying the various tools most likely trying to decide which was the right one to use. I'm not sure what he planned on doing or fixing... I stop right behind him my words barely a whisper when I speak, "I just like to say sorry beforehand. I couldn't get you a birthday gift really or even a Christmas gift for that matter...."

He doesn't stop looking through the tools and replies, "Don't worry about it, I couldn't get you anything either...." He turns his head after a slight pause and continues speaking, "Is that what's wrong with you?... If it is don't worry about it," he states nonchalantly. I clench my fists and begin to nibble my lip nervously not knowing how to act. He raises an eyebrow just waiting for me to speak.

"Umm.... I-I thought about it for awhile and...." I say, stumbling on my own tongue. I glance at the mistletoe in my hand raising it above our heads treating it as the excuse for my next actions. I ramble on speaking quickly, "I think I will be able to give you a small gift!"

I reach up and peck his lips, my cheeks instantly turning red. I could feel them burning with heat from pure embarrassment. I have my lips pressed against his still, unsure what to do since I never kissed Jackson even once. His lips were soft and warm almost how I imagined but a little better.

He just stares at me perhaps shocked or caught off guard and I pull away after letting my lips linger for just a little more. A long while passes and finally, his hand reaches up to his face touching them. All I could think is what a terrible idea this was, he wasn't saying anything but at the same time, I was secretly happy getting my first kiss...

My arm holding the mistletoe over our head is folded against my chest now, "Happy pre-birthday... and um there was the mistletoe so a kiss... just um felt right..." I say waggling the mistletoe in my hand averting my eyes. I swear it felt like minutes pass and still no response from him which made me sigh, "I think I'm going to bed now."

I turn to leave letting the fact I kissed him sink into his brain though I don't get the chance to when a hand grabs ahold of my wrist, "Wait," Levi states. I'm a little surprised and I tense up immediately. Shit, he was going to beat me up, he wasn't shy about beating or hurting a girl but his next action surprises me. His other hand reaches for my face and instead of punching me he grabs my chin.

I closed my eyes on instinct and I open them not feeling the rush of a fist or the pain of a fist colliding with my face. Levi isn't looking at me but my lips.... I hesitate but I finally speak, "W-what i-iss i-t it-it?" My eyes widening trying to figure out what he was doing. I dare not move a muscle trying to not freak out as to why he wasn't beating me up.

His thumb swipes across my lips, again he chooses not to answer my question choosing to make a comment, "Your lip is bleeding, they are so chapped..." Levi's thumb runs the whole course of my lips, the movement slow and I part my lips letting out a shaky breath.

"Sorry um, it's um probably because I been licking them and um also biting them. It's been cold down here to which doesn't help.." I murmur as if it's a good excuse as to why my lips are chapped. My cheeks felt so terribly hot, I just wanted to hide in my bedroom sure his next question would be why I kissed him and that the mouth was the dirtiest place on the human body. I would have to listen to him scold me how he would have to use mouthwash and brush his teeth ten times.

It was better if I just apologize when I felt his thumb stop moving back and forth across my bottom lip. I rush my apology quickly, "I'm sorry if the kiss felt felt b-bad becau-because of of it-it."

"..." Complete and utter silence follows. Why did I apologize for the kiss being bad because my lips were chapped? It made no sense, nothing I was doing was making sense. He wasn't making sense either. He should be getting upset, yelling, or doing something an average person would do if their blood relative especially a sister kissed them. More silence pursues and I'm just standing there awkwardly with Levi cupping my face still. He moves his thumb off my lip and leans down. 'Wait?! What was happening?!' I think. It looked like he was going to kiss me!

"It's such a waste of red liquid..." his words soft as he spoke, each syllable he pronounces warm against my lips. His head tilts to the side his eyes turning to that of small blue slits and each breath he takes fanning across my lips just like when he spoke. They were slow and even breaths and I just let whatever he was planning on doing not stopping it at all.

His hand cupping my chin moves to my cheek the back of his knuckles caressing my jaw as he moves them higher up on my face being particular where he rested his hand. I was a little flustered but I was excited, thrilled. Little butterflies everywhere in my stomach flying and doing loopie doops. I grab fistfuls of his shirt before removing the distance between our lips.

It was a little clumsy on my part not sure what to do next just like when I first did it; however, Levi seemed to fill in the gap. His tongue laps the seam of my lip taking the same course his thumb did when it rubbing my lips. He draws my bottom lip into my mouth sucking on it and a sweet taste spills into my mouth which I'm sure is the same with him. It was the red liquid.

I watch his eyelids flutter close the longer he sucks my bottom lip, the act pleasurable. I never knew kissing could feel so good. I could feel his claws digging into my cheeks the more he sucked on my lip but it isn't enough to break the skin and make me bleed. I let go of his shirt and wrap my arms around his torso letting the feeling take me as it did him. I close my eyes letting out a soft moan desiring more.

He bites my bottom lip and I feel his incisor teeth graze it causing him to grunt in discomfort, most likely a jolt of pain winding through him from the slight touch. He lets go of my bottom lip deciding to pay attention to my top lip. He decides to chew on my top lip just like how he did with my bottom lip, being more careful not to apply too much pressure to his sensitive baby teeth. Though such a small pressure caused him pain I wanted him to sink those dull teeth into my neck and drink.

I push my body closer to his as much as possible opening my eyes while murmuring into the kiss, "You can try and drink you know.....Mother felt generous because of the holiday so did grandmother. They gave William and I extra food." My words sound funny, hard to speak as he suckles my top lip.

I sigh and I unwrap one arm from his torso, taking one claw and slicing my neck, letting the red liquid well at the surface. It didn't take long for Levi to smell it, the scent of good red liquid smelled so alluring.... He lets go of my lip with a 'pop' opening his eyes halfway, his irises still small slits. Saliva strings our two mouths together and we just stare into each other eyes until he tilts my head to the side. Again I let him do as he pleases.

He runs the flat of his tongue against the cut on my neck letting out a soft moan. I couldn't see his face anymore so I'm not sure if he closed his eyes again or not. I'm sure he did, I wanted to as well right now. He thoroughly cleans my neck getting every hint of red liquid there was before focusing on the cut itself. He runs his tongue over the cut halting at the center of the cut and drawing the skin into his mouth sucking at it, drinking the sweet liquid down.

Whimpers escape from my throat, unable to contain them. His free hand finds his hair and I wind my fingers into it muttering, "It's okay... Bite." My voice was so soft and I speak one more time, "drink as much as you want." It seemed he was waiting for my approval and he presses one of his baby teeth against the cut.

Baby teeth were never meant for sinking into the flesh but he presses it down while whimpering lowly at the back of his throat from the pain. His tooth 'pops' through my skin which felt strange, there was some pressure from his tooth on my skin until suddenly there wasn't that pressure when there was that 'pop' noise.

I let out a small squeak from the strange feeling but that pleasure feeling returns quickly causing me to groan. My claws run across his scalp, small pants leaving me from how I was indulging in feeling a mixture of pain and pleasure. All I was focused on was him and this feeling.

His body was cold compared to that of my warm body. I oddly noticed until I felt another baby tooth break the skin and I let out another squeak involuntarily. After he sinks his baby teeth into my skin he laps the red liquid into his mouth much like a cat drinking milk from a saucer. It was another odd sensation, I never had anyone bite me before and I could see why adults got addicted to it so fast. It was better than food or anything I had before.

The hand he was using to hold my wrist is used to pull us closer. He scrunches up the back of my shirt becoming rougher. He had such a loose hold of the back of my shirt and the more rougher he became the more he scrunched my shirt up scratching my back by accident with his claws.

I hum out happily, "If I were to die, I want to die like this." I was happy and still excited, I secretly hoped he wanted more because a dull throb was emanating from my womanhood. I lean my body against his closing my eyes once more, I would let him do whatever he wanted with me I decided.

I wasn't expecting it but he withdraws his teeth immediately the feeling wholly unpleasant and painful. I yelp even louder than when he pierced my neck with his teeth. He pushes me the moment he pulls his teeth out and all I feel is the burning and stinging sensation from the puncture wounds. The red liquid rushes down my neck staining patches of my white blouse red. I put my hand over my wound staring at him confused, 'I must have did something he hated,' I think.

"Die?!" he asks, his voice quiet before he repeats himself being extremely loud, "Die?!" His face scrunches up, he seems confused as f he trying to process something. He asks, "What?" trying to understand.

I was confused by his confusion and pant out, "Why did you stop? I said I wouldn't mind dying like this."

I never saw it but I heard it and felt it. A hand cracks me across my face in a blur and it effectively turning my head to the side. I didn't get time to be upset when he starts yelling at me, "Don't you dare say that!" His whole face was twisted in anger and...Fear?...

I touch my cheek which is stinging and throbbing and all the pleasure I was feeling was spent. My next words reflecting how betrayed I felt, "Why did you hit me? What did I do?" I wanted to cry and stumble back more gripping the table I bump into walking backward.

"You want to die and you expect me to be okay with that," he yells stumbling back too. His yelling ceases when he sees movement from a mirror on the wall. The movement caused from his flailing his arms angrily. He turns his head fully to look at the mirror and his hand slowly reaches to his mouth were red liquid covers his mouth like a messy child.

He forgets all about me and stares into the mirror shocked. Was he not aware of what he was doing when he bit me? Forget it... And I spat out, "If I were to die I would want it to be that way." 

The first signs of tears making my eyes water, it was a reality check. "Just forget about what happened tonight. I'm sorry I ruined the night. I knew it was a bad idea," I rambled on wiping the first tears away before they slide down my burning cheek.

I bit my lip and quickly run to my room snatching the blanket off the couch. I could hear Levi muttering to himself his words not making much sense, "I'm just like mother... I'm just like mother....."

Edited on: March, 2nd, 2019


	7. Fever

The vibration on the strings creating music, the tunes carrying through all the rooms of this place but never reaching above, always silent enough so those who dwelled above where unaware of those living in hell. I twisted my body around and around imagining a stage and thousands of people watching me. My skirt picks up high into the air fluttering and almost touching my arm, the current of the air a melody like the bow runnings across the strings of a violin.

Sound didn't have color but the colors of the room blur and melted into a murky color, the color when you ran into a lake and stirred up the sentiment which clouded the clear water with brown and black. I kept moving the bow back and forth, a madness being released with each string of sound and all I could think if this song had color it be the color I saw now. An unclear color and not a single color but a multitude of dark colors all blended into cloudy lake water I often ran through while playing with Levi.

Over a year has passed since we have been in the basement, spring then summer than fall and finally winter was here again. I slowed my spin and I could faintly see my shadow running through the room attached to my feet, disappearing and reappearing throughout the dark and moist cage. My thoughts were dark and angry, a year I spent in this cage and the melody became angry, the strings threatening to break from the pressure of the bow.

I hated this place, I hated Mama, and I hated Levi.... But I loved Levi too and string breaks and then another but I continue rubbing the bow on the strings, the music becoming horrible and foul. Why couldn't William and I leave this place? Why only Levi? My body bows as more strings break, the nights were cold and harsh again, this winter far worse.

A lot of things have happened and change but a lot of things seemed to freeze in time such as Levi. He was 18 and William 7 and I was 14. Unlike William and I he was stuck in time, frozen. I stop spinning and move and arch my back to the music I created. Ever since that kiss that fleeting moment Levi and I shared over a year ago Christmas Eve, it was when time stopped for him. His baby teeth falling out a few months after. That kiss was just like a single raindrop in a rainstorm for our kind easily forgotten but I remembered every detail and every sensation and every feeling.

I wanted him but he had grown so far and unreachable; however, we lived in the basement breathing the same horrible musty and old air. I stop moving the song coming to an end and I stare off in the distance panting heavily, all but one string was broken and I felt hot tears on my cheek. More than freedom I wanted Levi but Mama was always taking him lately.

I hear the cellar door creak open jolting me and I crane my head to look my hold on my violin becoming looser. I listen for Levi or Grandmother or Mama but no one comes but the shut of the door and the clumsy turning of the doorknob. I listen more and I hear the click of the lock indicating the basement was locked once more but still I hear no footsteps or the familiar sound of shoes on the stairs leading down.

I call softly unsure, "Mama...." but I get no response. I then call out again louder, "Grandma..." and still I get no response. I walk closer to the stairs being careful not to make any noise placing my violin on the rotten table, its strings swayed creating an eerie noise. William was in his room sleep still so it wasn't him and Levi was out with Mama. A servant maybe?

I creep closer to the stairs to get a better look, the Christmas lights in the rafters were off. I preferred the dark, although my eyes had yet to see in the pitch darkness but I welcomed it growing accustomed to being in it. I felt safe, the darkness like a cloak. I crouch lower, my breathing getting slower as I took my silent steps to the stairs.

I hear the soft breathing of William in his room still sound asleep and the more labored breathing of the person at the top of the stairs. I hear a shuffle of shoes on the steps and try to piece together who walked like that. Levi walking was pronounced and clear and so was Mama's heels on the wooden steps. Grandma never came down usually but her heels were louder than Mama, she was a heavier walker.

I get closer and when I do, I hear something land on one of the midsteps crashing and making a loud noise and the noise continued by whatever it was since it was rolling down the stairs. I back up a little and a basket tumbles down the stairs, the basket bursting and the red liquid still in their bags rollings against the cement floor. The red liquid looked like liquified rubies sealed into plastic see thru bags.

I study them confused, and then I hear something else on the stairs and hear the loud stumbling of a person. It sounded like a drunk person unable to walk down the stairs and I get close enough to see up the stairs only to see Levi bundled up in layers of winter coats half standing on the third to last step gripping the railing or more like leaning on it. He had his eyes squeezed tight, his body hunched over his legs awkward as if he fell down the stairs. It sounded like he did and I slowly stand upright becoming concerned.

"Levi, Levi! Are you alright," I yell panicking while rushing to him. I quickly run up those three steps grabbing at his arm trying to help him up straight. "Did you fall?" I ask putting his arm over my shoulder. My whole body is trembling, he didn't look good at all. He opens his eyes half away, taking a big gulp of air his body shuddering as he inhales. All I could think at that movement was how feather-light he was in my arms.

He felt like he weighed less than me, I was 120.... I never saw him eating, he always said he ate before we did or that he eat after.... 'Was he starving himself for us?' I ask myself, so we have more food in our bellies. I didn't even notice until now, I should have but he always looked thin even before we were trapped in this hell.

He says something but I'm too preoccupied with my thoughts. I missed so much, and the list kept going. I couldn't believe I missed that he was starving while I was stuffing myself along with William with Levi's food. I saw his lips move and I murmur, "What did you say?"

"I tripped," he murmurs his voice soft and airy. He tries to pull away from me to walk on his own, "I'm fine, the basket slipped from my hands and then I must have tripped. One of the steps is broken," he tries to explain using a shitty excuse. I refuse to let him walk on his own, he needed sleep and most importantly he needed food.

"Don't lie to me," I hiss and start yelling at him, "You are light as a feather even with all those coats, scarfs and mittens on you. You haven't been eating. You need to eat!" I feel the smallest of trembles coming from him. 

'Is he shivering? Did I upset him?' I ask myself knowing I was yelling but it wasn't because I wasn't mad, I was upset.

"Are you shaking because I yelled at you?" I ask needing to know if I did upset him. I didn't mean to. His eyes that were drifting shut seeming to be ignoring me as I helped him over to the couch snapped open, "No you damn brat" he hisses out but the hiss and the anger in it lacking. He usually has a bite to his voice but he didn't have it, I wanted to hear it. I missed it so much right now.

He completely falls back into the couch sighing, his eyes once more beginning to flutter shut and he murmurs noticing the violin on the table, "again?" he asks softly. 

"What?," I ask turning to look at what his eyes were looking at and my eyes land on my violin.

He had given it to me on my 14th birthday though I didn't know how he got such a beautiful instrument. The violin was beautifully crafted, the violin itself high-arched with the sweetest tone without any of that tubbiness seen with many high-arched instruments. The two-piece narrowly flamed maple back lacking any disfigurement or cracks the same with sides and scroll. The top is made of a fine-grained spruce and I couldn't help when I was alone to run my fingers over this beautiful item to feel the smoothness of the wood.

My eyes look back to him in disbelief, he was worried about my violin when he was like that. I tug his scarf off with a hard yank making him jerk forward, and he makes a small grunt his eyes opening again to glare at me. 

"Why the hell are you worrying about something like that, you retard," I bitch angrily

"I'll get you strings the next time I'm out... Two days from now...." he murmurs a droplet of sweat running down his jaw and threatening to fall from his chin. 

"I didn't ask for any damn string" I sputter angrily my voice getting shrill taking his scarf and using it to pat his face dry, the scarf becoming damp with his sweat.

He was soaked, his hair was even wet but I thought it was just from the snow melting in his hair when I first saw him. He was outside with Mama so I just thought that but he was way worse than what I initially thought. I had no idea how bad his fever was or how sick he was, I wasn't a doctor. I didn't even have a thermometer or any way to call for help.

I take his mittens off and rub his hands between mine trying to warm him and help chase the chill from his body. I discovered from the simple touch he wasn't trembling from me yelling but the fever that was ravaging his body. This was all caused from lack of food, he was ao fucking stupid. I never met anyone stupider or less greedy then him. He was always looking out for William and I and here I was being selfish constantly always worrying about myself.

"You are so stupid," I mumble the anger vanishing from my voice as I felt more guilt than anger. If I paid more attention, I would have made him eat, and eat with us every meal. I grip his hands between mine and push my forehead against his, "You are so stupid, incredibly stupid...." I breathe out closing my eyes.

He was unbearably hot, too hot for any us to be. We weren't meant to be this hot, this was the hot meant for normals... I repeat my words, "you are so fucking stupid," and as I speak our breath intermingled one that is cool while the other is warm. 

"I'm not stupid and your breath smells like rotten blood," he murmurs back and I open my eyes to see his eyes staring at me.

That shit had the guts to tell me my breath smelt like rotten blood, "You," I growl out and I take the skin on his right hand pinching it while twisting it at the same time.

"Brush your teeth," he grumbles turning his head away letting his eyelids flutter shut once more. He lazily tries to bat my hand away before he starts rubbing small circles on my thumb with his own giving up on trying to make me stop.

I pull my head away sighing, "This is where you are supposed to complain about me pinching you," and I let go of the skin on the back of his hand. I continue to stare at him, his head resting on the back of the couch which had become the center of our made up living room. His eyes already closed again slipping into a fever induced sleep.

I pick up the mittens I took off and place them on the corner table pushed against the end of the couch where we were at, one of the legs of the table shorter than the others. In the beginning, it always tilted back and forth, the shorter leg making the table tippy but Levi had stuffed pieces of cardboard under the short leg, the tippiness of the table causing him to lose a cup of tea once. He was always taking care of us and I never appreciated it.

I take the scarf already damp with his sweat and pat his face again, slowly running it over his cheeks and his forehead. He had such long black eyelashes that I want to pluck and steal them for myself, it was such a waste on his stupid ass. I trail the scarf down that I had crumbled in my hand down his neck where his coat was zipped all the way to the collar.

The coat, the scarf, and mittens were all expensive. The mittens weren't really mittens but leather gloves with rabbit fur lining while the scarf was made out of cashmere being a simple grey like the pebbles at a beach. The coat a parka with a fur hood, something you expect a woman to wear but he looked handsome in it, the coat fitting him giving him a fragile but masculine feeling. They were all things Mama picked out, she did know how to dress Levi but my brother could look handsome and sexy in anything. The fever also giving him a sexy look whereas most people are disgusting and looking their worse when they have a fever or any illness.

I undo the last button of his coat, the buttons were hard to undo, the jacket being so new they didn't want to slide out from the slits. I start to push the coat down his shoulders exposing the turtle neck top he seems to fancy lately. It seemed those were the only things he would wear, that and black trousers or fitted jeans. I try pulling his jacket off but he wasn't helping me much, he was dead weight. Although, he was so thin and easy to move to take his jacket off, without him helping was nearly impossible.

"Levi, lean forward," I ask patting his leg trying to wake him up. He had dozed off within seconds of me just undoing the buttons on his jacket, I should have known when his eyes had shut that he would fall asleep. I pat his thigh harder, "Levi, wake up!" I repeat myself raising my voice.

He grumbles slightly, "Leave....me.... alone," his words drawn out and soft and he turns his head to the side. 

"Levi, come on!" I call out again tapping his thigh quickly trying to make him fully awake. He doesn't respond and I pinch the inside of his thigh, "Come on Levi, I need to get you undressed and into bed!"

I blush at my words and thank whatever entity that was out there, he was sick and he wouldn't realize how inflamed my face was currently at the thought of me and him in a bed, him being undressed by me as I kissed him again.

Images of us together, skin against skin as I kissed him, my tongue slipping into his mouth to rub his adult teeth, his body warm under mine as he clumsily tries to pull my shirt off when he was feverish. I would witness how his eyes turn to ice blue slits due to my touches. 'My touches,' I think leaning my head forward drawn to his lips.

He opens his eyes and furrows his eyebrows, "Just leave me alone...." he grumbles and pulls my head away quickly my ears too becoming inflamed with heat. I avert my eyes to glance several times and I notice that his eyelids begin drooping and the furrow vanishing quickly the fever trying to lull him to sleep again.

I pinch him harder remembering my task, "Come on!" I hiss thru my teeth and he lurches forward growling slightly, the growl pathetic.

"There was that so damn hard and stop that growling," I grumble and I complain more though I don't have the right, my cheeks still burning, "I won't feed you if you keep it up!"

He tries to sneer but it ends up just a frown and he lifts his left arm making it easier for me to peel the jacket's left sleeve from him and I do the same to the other side. The parka stiff and probably uncomfortable, it wasn't made to keep you warm but for fashion. I toss it to the floor not caring how expensive the coat originally was, he should be wearing something else that would keep him sheltered from the winter winds and bitter cold.

He wouldn't wear that if I was his girlfriend, I would put him in something that keeps the eyes of another woman off him when he wasn't with me but when he was with me, we would match. We walk side by side holding hands, our shoes clicking loudly against the floor announcing our presence, our clothes being the finest in all the world and his hair slicked back while mine was woven up in a french braid, little ringlets of curls framing my face. All eyes would be on us as walked in sync but instead of looking forward Levi's eyes would be on me as I lead.

My epic fantasy and delusion ends when Levi sneezes, his sneeze reminding me of a kitten. We weren't allowed pets not even a fish, Mama didn't like them and said we didn't need them. She said they were messy but what was important was how cute Levi's sneeze was, it was adorable. I was still concerned though, his health but it was from lack of feeding and I would give him what he needed once I cleaned him up. I would make sure he didn't starve again, he was my dear brother. Family was forever, wasn't it?

"I guess that was exhausting for you," I mumble seeing that he was breathing harder from so little especially from that sneezing fit. I comment out loud noticing something off, "Your shirt is extremely wet. Sweat? But it smells sickly sweet more than it should...." I lean closer taking a sniff my nose almost pressed against his shirt. The aroma was delicious, I could taste it and I let my eyes fall shut enjoying the sweet smell. There was the faintest smell of Lavender on him that seemed to come from beneath the top.

"Stop....you're being weird." He breathes out, his words feather light just like him. I rest my knee on the couch in between his legs, placing my fingertips on his thigh and letting them travel up slipping under that snug cashmere acting like a second skin on him. The sound that drifts from his mouth the sound of a groan gifts my ears, it was heavenly, it was divine. I was the one who caused it.

"You know when we sweat, we sweat blood but of course you know this right?" I ask my voice a purr. A voice that was mine and wasn't mine. My other hand joins its matching pair lifting his shirt peeling that second skin away to reveal that beautiful and unmarred flesh that was his skin. My fingers press down and I could feel the dampness which was sweat caused by his fever. A fever that he did to himself to provide for William and I. He would be a good husband like Mama said and a better father.

I keep my eyes on him who was shocked by that groan which drifted from his lips but I wasn't surprised by it. I caused it and like that fleeting kiss we shared there was something between us that wasn't solely affection between sister and brother or blood relations. I have been thinking on it for the last year of what we were and who we are and finally what I wanted. We were family and nothing would stop it.

"It nothing to be ashamed about," I whisper leaning into him making my breath tickle his ear with each word. "You feel good, I feel good, just like when we kissed and you pierced my skin with your teeth." I murmur taking his earlobe between my teeth and carefully running my teeth over the thin piece of tissue. I continue wanting my words to sink in, tired of not being able to touch him for an entire year after our kiss, "Don't be shy," I hum my words muffled.

He doesn't resist me, just like his mouth unable to suppress his sounds blanketing my ears with soft moans and groans. I pull away from his ear letting go of his earlobe giving it a small lick before looking down to observe the skin he liked hiding so much that my fingertips and hands been running against. His muscles were so finely tuned just like how my violin was before I destroyed it.

I stare in shock at what my hands felt from the beginning. All I could see was red and I stare at the red sea that was supposed to be his torso. He was covered in it, such an ugly red that I didn't paint him but someone else. I see the bites so many of them and so deep letting the red liquid escape and my hands were soaked with the red liquid.

I felt like I stopped breathing just like when I watched the fire take the house and when I discovered Papa died. I touch the first bite my hand was closest to that laid just underneath his right breast where the strongest ventricles heart was located. I slip my finger to the punctures but into one of the two largest holes. The flinch was immediate, his body jerking upon reflex from the pain of my finger digging into the hole. His eyes that had closed shut were open and I look to his face.

"Who did this?" I hiss loudly locking his eyes with mine, an angry swelling in my heart and beginning to burst from the seams that was my skin. He was mine and mine alone... We would become a family. Right?


	8. Foreboding Dreams

"Avril..." drifts of a tired tongue of a tired body and such pretty blue eyes stare at me belonging to the king of secrets and deceptions. 

"Levi," I say, his name coming off as an accusation and I curl dull fingernails into fresh bites, feeling the warmth of his life coat my fingers, dying them a temporary red.

Unforgivable and unacceptable; an unloyal bastard is what he was. How could I forgive this? Punishment.... Pain is what he needed, a reminder betrayal was not ever to happen again otherwise consequences. Cause him pain, by digging my fingers in bites left by another and I slide my other through the blood on his chest I thought before was sweat from a fever. I was so concerned, my red hands trailing up his abused chest.

"...Avril," my name again is spoken from his lips, though not from lips of a virgin as he hinted he was not so long ago. Liar... Liar... and I do not stop and I wrap my red-stained hand around his neck. He attempts to pull my hand away but it was useless.

I lean down, my lips brushing against his ear, "Dirty whore mongrel," and I squeeze his neck.

I feel his pulse in his neck, thundering so loudly through my flesh as if it was my own. Quick and fast it went, reminding me of a rabbit racing away from a fox. Perhaps because it was winter again I get reminded of the rabbit running through drifts of white snow leaving distinct steps in the snow all the while the red fox bounding through the snow hot on the rabbit's heel until finally, the fox catches the rabbit. I can hear the crunch of the rabbit's neck beneath the power of the fox's jaw and dyeing the pure snow a crimson red. 

I'm not sure why I visualized it, thoughts are often strange but I had caught him red-handed, Levi was a dirty cheating heathen and I squeeze the pulse beating as if it is his heart maddening me because it had raced for another woman. I didn't have the other woman within reach but him, and I squeeze harder. He was weak... weakness was not tolerated. 

I didn't realize what happened, I felt myself in the air propelled back. I felt my back collide with something hard and pain doesn't register right away as my head is swimming. Everything is spinning as I feel my body slide down from whatever I had hit until my ass finds something which I can only guess is the ground. I try to see but I'm finding I can't focus on anything, but the different colored lights above me and then a singular light ahead of me.

What happened? I remember I was being mean to Levi.... I hurt him... But he deserved the pain and my wrath, he left me for a female vampire, and I knew a prettier one than myself. Smarter, sexier, just better. Levi had his pick of whoever he wanted. I mean who would turn down Levi? He looked liked a male version of Mother and he was clever and had the manners of an old man.

"I WisH YoU'Ll aLL DIeD iN the FiRE. EVerYONe SHould hAvE DIED!" I hear Levi's voice raise to a bellow, an anger from him I have never heard from him.

His words hit me, and my heart squeezes in pain. He couldn't possibly mean his words. He loved William and I. He also loved Mother. He didn't mean it, not really and the pain begins to register in my body. My head throbs and my back pangs, a throb becoming a painful stabbing sensation all over my back and my arms. Though my stomach hurt the most.

I hear rustling then I heard noises of stuff being tipped over and then finally a door slamming shut. I feel dust and other things not as pleasant fall on my head and body. I try to see and blink my eyes rapidly trying to get my vision back, everything still so blurry and spinning in one gigantic blur. I must have a concussion, a bad one at that.

My vision was lost to me and I try to stand next. I lean forward, gasping the pain unbearable. My legs felt nonexistent and I panic believing I lost my legs. I pat at them and struggle more to stand more to my feet and eventually do so, discovering, in fact, my legs were in working order. I was only panicking, everything was okay with my body. Everything was in working order as I had hoped. My eyes would be back in working order shorty, I just need to be calm and rational and not say anything that comes to mind.

Another thing is I couldn't help but pick up the panic and fear in Levi's voice though his voice wasn't the only indicator what he felt. I could smell the aroma wafting from him just like the sweet aroma from his fresh blood. I didn't know why he be scared, I had no intention of harming him that badly. I was just scaring him, it was just all a scare I was doing. He knew I would never hurt him right? He knew that right? I was just so angry at him, I really didn't mean to take it that far. I never wanted this.

"Levi," I call out sliding my back against what I now know is the wall. I call out again, "Levi!"

No answer but I keep calling his name but he doesn't answer me. Why doesn't he answer me? I feel tears sting my eyes and I push away from the wall stumbling. I walk into several things and I hear the crash of things toppling over and hitting the floor, shaking the whole basement. I don't stop even so. I also stub my toes several times too but the pain in my heart was far worse than any physical pain. It was even worse than starving. He didn't mean what he said right?

My tears were running off my face and onto the floor. And I collide with something much larger, and I hear the items on it quiver. I reach out and pat the thing which has blocked my way. I then move to feel the items which were on it before I soon realized what it is. It was the table we all sat around, the one where we shared our meals together. I feel a new wave of sadness wash over me and I start blubbering loudly recalling all the good times we had sitting around this table. What if he didn't want to sit with me? Or William? It would all be my fault... And then William would hate me too!

"Levi," I call out desperately, my vision coming back a little bit to me. It hurt so bad, a constant pounding in the back of my head.

I see I have tipped over the light candle, hot wax spilling and spreading slowly across the table but not as fast as water. The wax was drying but the flame continued to bob ever so brilliantly just like Levi. Levi was like this candle's flame, brilliantly bright but easily extinguished.

I continue to stare at the candle my vision better but not much. I feel like I could stare for hours at the candle, it was so simple. It had one job to do after being light and that was to provide light in this dark and dreary world especially our world. It was so dark in here and so cold. I try to think but it was hard. Something was wrong about what I was staring at, it shouldn't be like that. What was wrong with what I am seeing?

Ahh, it was the candle, the candle was tipped over. I felt so exceeding smart at the realization. The tiny flame which managed to stay lit after falling could cause a fire. We would be trapped down here. No one would come to our rescue. We would die. We would die in a fire and no one would even know we had died. Everyone in our old life thinking we were living some marvelous life elsewhere, having so much fun we couldn't text, email, or message them. We would be forgotten and no one would care. 

I wince as hot wax reaches my fingers but I don't pull away from the burning sensation which always told me to pull away before my skin becomes hurt or blistered. The sensation spreads just like the wax, my palm beginning to burn and then my wrist. Though this little bit of pain could not make up for what I have done to Levi, it being a small pebble to what I have done.

I lift my hand and the wax stays glued to my skin, still hot but the pain wasn't completely registering. I could feel my hand burning and hurting but something was wrong with my head, something terribly wrong. I pick up a book and in shiny gloss on the binding reading, 'Bible.'

I wonder if I would be punished... 'Cursed be anyone who lies with his sister..' I think staring at the bible in my hand. That was a quote from the bible if I was correct or one of those similar books. I have such impure thoughts about my brother. Would God curse me? Was there a God? If there was a God he was unjust or perhaps I have always had these impure thoughts about Levi and this was my punishment to look at my brother and lust for him like a man not blooded to me.

I lift the book, the wax sticking to the book like my skin. I hated this book just like I hated mother now so I didn't care and I smush the flame out wishing I could smush the flame which took our home. Levi wished we all died in the fire well I wished I Papa never died and I could have prevented the fire. It wasn't fair and the hot wax splatters and ends up on my face and clothing, my face burns under the hot specks of white wax.

I peel the book back seeing the black cover is singed as gray smoke curls around the sides of the bible which is lifted. I stare at the singe before dropping the book back in the wax. I then push myself from the table, in the direction of his room. That must have been where he went. He went to his room. I walk towards the door which is shut, my legs threatening to give out from under the weight of my body. I wish I wasn't so heavy and maybe my legs would be working better. It was so exhausting, I just wanted to sleep. I wanted Levi's forgiveness more though. I had to have it.

I stumble and crash into a few things trying to reach Levi's door but it was proving tougher than it looked. I reach the red door, a door leading me unto the path of temptation. Blood was our life source and red is the color of sin. The red paint chips revealing an ugly black wood, the black ugly wood could represent so many things but perhaps God was telling me how ugly I was inside, not that I believed in such things. Not like Grandmother or Mama.

I press my head against the door. How should I beg or Levi's forgiveness? Would I be forgiven? What are the right answers but more importantly what are the right questions? Would he even be listening? Is it worth my time to beg and cry at his door? I had to try like Papa would have said if he was alive. Why did he commit suicide? He was such a happy man and I feel my tears run down my face, not red in color like the door but pink. I shouldn't be crying, it was a waste when the red liquid was so precious.

"Levi?" I sob out and continue calling his name out in sobs, "Levi, please...Levi forgive me..."

Of course, he doesn't answer me. What was I expecting...

"I'm sorry," I choke out and I slide down the door closing my eyes, a collective pool of tears sliding down my cheeks as I rest my heavy lids. My whole body hurt and I was so hungry.

....

....

....

"Avril," a soft voice says. I knew it was William but I didn't want to talk or play. I was tired but William tries again, "Avril, I'm cold and hungry... Avril, Avril, Avril.... Avril... Where is Levi? I'm scared and I'm hungry..."

He calls my name some more but it was annoying prattle. I hope he would quiet soon. I just wanted Levi. I ignore my name, William not being the person I want calling it. After some time I feel a body press against mine after a while, William must have gotten tired and gave up. At least he wasn't screaming. Maybe he was too tired to.

All I could think of is the woman who was sleeping with him as lucky but not that I cared. I didn't care. Why would I care? I open my eyes, buy my eyelids are so heavy. I don't know why I bothered to open them, I only saw darkness and I shut my eyes, my body sore and my mind exhausted.

I press my body against William's smaller body for warmth. His small and relaxed breaths brushing against my bare shoulder hinting he was already running beneath the sun playing with all his friends, a different reality than the one we are forced to live in. I too wanted to have nice dreams such as holding hands with Levi in public, a date to the mall, amusement park, or an aquarium. Anything really. But dreams are just dreams aren't they, they come and leave you like the sounds I produce on my violin. Though my violin was broken now just like I felt with my dreams.

I squeeze my eyes and concentrate with everything I have, but my eyes only see the back of my eyelids. I didn't want that and I repeat in my head, 'A date with Levi,' hoping more than anything my dreams would allow me to have such a fantasy. But I wouldn't get such a fantasy this night just pitch blackness letting my closed eyes relax. But I can faintly recall my back tilting back before my falling body is caught.

I am lifted in the air as if I am a feather and I feel a different warmth than William's small body pressed against my body. I don't struggle and I don't fight the sleep, I just allow this ghostly apprehension to ghost me away and hopefully out and away from this prison. The warmth from the ghost doesn't last before I am laid down, on something soft. See, dreams don't last until I feel another body pressed against my own. William?

Regardless of who it was, I craved warmth and I curl my body around this smaller body. I hear the flap of sheets settling over my body and adding more warmth than before but I was still cold. Then soon after I feel an arm being draped over my waist. It belonged to the same creature who carried me, it was so warm. I liked this warm and also scent, It was mine, all mine. It was Levi, wasn't it?

The arm doesn't stay at my waist but moves to my face then hair. I feel my hair being pushed behind my ear by soft and delicate fingers before I feel them prod against my mouth. They move past my lips and I feel something hot and warm trickle on my tongue. I eagerly lap at the warmth that tasted so sweet like honey. I wanted more but it runs out, the source dried of its nectar.

I sigh, I guess no more as the fingers leave my mouth only giving me a taste of temptation. One I was hurtling to on my own which would lead to my own destruction. I wasn't at fault, I was lead by sin himself, Levi. Levi... Levi... I feel the weight of an arm again at my waist. At least it was comforting, I was thankful of that. Levi... Levi... I wanted more than a taste... Levi, Levi...Levi.

I can't keep thinking. I was so confused, dreams, reality, fantasies... Am I dreaming or is this reality and I push my face into the soft hair of the body I curled myself around. I wanted so many things. What was stopping me from having what I wanted? But who was the right question, wasn't it? I had to think about the who another time but I keep picturing silky long black hair and a kind smile which seemed faker than a doll's smile in a toy store. I always hated dolls... I despised them. 

An anger swells in my chest and I wanted to break this person. Who was it? I reach for this woman but the image disappears and I see Levi's face and the anger slowly disappears. He looked so sick and sad... I had to apologize again when I wake up. I didn't want to because a small part of me insisted we were still fighting. I didn't want to fight with him. He was the last person I wanted to fight with in this life or the next.... The next sounding so ominous but fast approaching just like the tiny flame I had to smother.

The worst part of today we ended the day by fighting but I didn't screw up. I was not at fault he was, Levi, someone who was no longer my brother in my twisted and demented mind. Why couldn't he be like a doll? The only doll I would ever love, a doll that was mine but he was to headstrong to be a doll. It was his eyes which were willful even if his lips never parted to speak with that devilish tongue of his. I didn't want him a doll and I see the woman's hands cup his face forcing it back.

Her painted red lips part ever so cruelly from that fake smile and her teeth elongate. They are adult teeth and she leans down to his neck towards his pulse thundering visibly under his thin skin so easily ruined by sin. Her vibrant blue eyes stare at mine as she presses her ugly mouth on his neck. Her eyes are the same as Levi's beautiful eyes though her eyes are ugly with something nasty. His hair is the same as her hair, the same raven colored black, but hers can't compare to his lovely hair.

I don't look away, a strange emotion swelling in my chest mixing with anger I was becoming so familiar with of late. Mine... He was mine...Only mine.


End file.
